I would normally be one of the few people who would say that January flies past…. This year I disagree. It seems like the longest month ever, albeit I still can’t believe that it is now over.

When starting to put this blog post together I realised that it was full of F words. To name a few:

• Four Months
• Fitness
• Focus
• Facial Expressions
• Fag Free
• February
• Father
• Flying

Of course if I wasn’t so polite! I think I would also fit in a few actual F’s!

Four Months, Fitness & Focus

So let’s start talking about Four Months and Fitness!!!

Today leaves me exactly four months until I will be standing at the starting line of the Asics Stockholm Marathon. I find it hard to imagine standing at that starting line never mind crossing over the finish line and still be smiling.

If I have learned anything in the few races I have been part of, it is that it is way too easy to forget about the camera that they put on the finish line. Look for yourself and see what I mean.

These pictures clearly shows I need to work on my finishers smile whether a 5km, 26km or 42,195km race!!

I am a strong believer that I am only going to get there by focusing fully on my fitness, including physical and mental health. It takes huge commitment and motivation to actually keep the training plan in place as well as listening to the body and mind during these sessions.

I remember a good friend who once said to me “you can do anything you want in a race as long as you have either mind or body with you. If both goes at the same time, that’s when the race is over”.  Those words are so true and although I am not at the stage in my training yet where this is likely to happen I am working hard to put the pillars in place to keep both as strong as possible.

As one of my goals this year is to increase my fitness and to reach the target of completing a Marathon, I have  throughout January, in sickness and in health, kept my focus to get nearer to this goal!! And not without help either! Family & Friends, Physio & Life Coach, Reading and Writing have all been parts of the support structures; all of which I will continue to use over the coming months.

So now time to get the runners on for February!!

Fag Free

Next week, 8 years ago, I gave up the cigarettes and I think that every year without them is worth celebrating and mentioning. In those 8 years, I have not so much as touched a cigarette and that I am very proud of.

This achievement also brings back memories of previous attempts of giving them up and particularly the second last one!! On that occasion I said I would not give them up altogether but allow myself a cigarette (or two) when out for a drink.

However, I hadn’t realised quite how inventive I would be in creating drinking opportunities most days of the week! So instead of becoming a healthier smoke free version of myself I ended up, not only continuing my smoking, but also slowly turning myself into an alcoholic (well not quite but nearly).

So here is a toast to smoke free lungs!!!

Fantastic February

With February just a short two days away I have taken stock of my goals and how I have progressed them in January. I didn’t get to them all (to be expected) but actually feel rather pleased with what I have got done so far.

So what does February have in store;

• My music adventures and travelling will kick off with a short trip to London to see the magnificent Bear’s Den!! Cannot wait to listen to them once more and to spend some time (well overdue) with one of my favourite people!!
• The next Run Clare event is on no further away than in Spanish Point on the 16^thFebruary! 5 miles this time!!
• Flying back to Minnesota!!
• Fourteenth of February stress 😉
• Fredrik’s Birthday!! That’s my brother who is soo much older and soo much wiser than I am!!!

It is also the month of my dad’s anniversary. This year we have been without him for a whole of 12 years and I still miss him every day.

All in all I am looking forward to another busy month and to some more sunlight!!! As a very wise woman, Amelia Earhart, once said “There is more to life than being a passenger”!!

So let’s fly!!

Wow, half way through January already!!

Yesterday morning when travelling to work I was listening to the news and a report on a survey completed by economist Dr David Blanchflower which confirms that we are getting increasingly miserable from the age of 18 hitting peak misery at the age of 47.2…….

Well, this is my fucking year and I have no intentions of making it a miserable one, never mind the next 6.5 years!!

Combining Goals!

You know you have hit gold, or at least a great shortcut, when you can combine multiple goals into one! This week I got the opportunity to merge 3 of them into one. Music, running and fundraising for charity. I signed up to #TourDePicnic which is an event which allows me to fundraise for three amazing charities, run 17kms to the gates of EP2020 and to get my weekend ticket in hand upon arrival! It is an excellent initiative and I am super excited to be part of it later this year.

Talking about running my official 2020 Marathon Training plan has now commenced and I am actually excited to get started! It helps that I am planning my first ever drive up to the Arctic Circle when in Sweden for the race.

I have my first running sessions done, signed up for the Clare Running Series and the Regeneron Great Limerick Run and I have also started to work on ensuring that I prevent injury along the training routes. I can do this!!

Hiking Bonanza

If you haven’t been there already, then I do urge you to go! Comeragh Mountains in Waterford are spectacular. Even if you don’t want to hike to the top you can get up as far as Lake Coumshingaun and sit down for a nice warm cuppa and take in the astonishing scenery!

Getting to the top was a little more difficult and as you know I have a fear of heights…. Let’s just say that this was the first ever hike after which my arm muscles were sore. I clinged on to the rocks on the way up for dear life and even took a mud slide on my but on the way down!! But it was worth every second and I will definitely go back to this one when the sun is fully displayed!!!

This weekend gone I managed to fit in a walk before storm Brendan, which took us around the beautiful Lake Graney in Flagmount! Another great spot and this time we were accompanied by two 11-year olds who managed the near 12km trek nicely!!

If you have any routes or places to recommend or to challenge me with, please let me know! Always looking for my next hike!

Honest Insults

So, I can only say that I am a very lucky lady when it comes to my friends! But genie you wouldn’t want to be sensitive or you would start thinking they really don’t like you……

To give some examples of this honesty;

1. Do not settle for second best, or third for that matter!
2. Get that shit storm sorted!
3. You deserve more than you expect!
4. Grab it by the……!
5. Stop moping, you have made your choices…… stand by them.
6. You may not want me here, but I am here anyway if only to annoy you!
7. And the most honest of all! In between honest insults we are actually able to say, I love you and I am lucky to have you as my friend!

Not only are they honest as f**k but they are also incredibly “free spoken” and at times I wonder(I am very well reared and super polite so this stresses me)if I can really be seen, never mind heard with these people in public places!!

All jokes aside, I couldn’t be luckier than to have the bunch that I have around me! Ladies and Gents, thank you 😊

So onwards with another week of adventures and challenges of equal measures!! Let’s go grab it.

This year I have only one New Years’ resolution!! (apologies in advance it includes a curse)

2020 IS MY FUCKING YEAR!

Now….. in order to make it my year I did what I do best and set out an excessive personal development plan in pink and blue which includes 11 core goals each with scheduled milestones to achieve. So those whom are picky may believe me to have near a 100 resolutions but no…. just the one!! The rest are goals to get me there.

Today marks two years since I started this blog page! However, I have abandoned it for nearing a full year. Many reasons took me away from it but now I am back and one of my goals is to stay with it.

So, this post will be a little more about the one resolution and a quick review of a decade past by (brief I promise).

ONE RESOLUTION

Just before breaking up for Christmas I was having a conversation with this wonderful lady and we were talking about personality traits (mainly mine might I add).

Towards the very end of our conversation she said;

“You need to spend more time being as good to yourself as you are to others and most importantly you need to realise how good of a person you really are”

That is probably one of the hardest compliments I have ever had to accept…. Well to be honest I am still trying.

What it did make me realise was that there were some serious truths in it and that I now, without being a total b**ch in 2020, need to find a way to put me first (at least at times).

Thus, came the idea of my one resolution! This is my fucking year and I own every bit of it!!

THE GOALS

When I put together the visual plan and  surrounding this resolution it looked a little something like this;

The visual plan was then divided into these 11 core goals;

• #Goal 1            My Home is Where My Heart Is
• #Goal 2            Writing (I am on it)
• #Goal 3            Reading (I am so on it thanks to the wonderful Mark Johnson!!)
• #Goal 4            Financial Planning
• #Goal 5            My First Marathon (only 144 days to go)
• #Goal 6            Family & Friends
• #Goal 7            Self Development through leaning and through my career
• #Goal 8            Travel & Music (and lots of it)
• #Goal 9            Hiking

The last two are the scary ones!!

• #Goal 10 –  ❤️
• #Goal 11 – ME

So I was thinking that I may use this blog as my accountability holder! To share my progress on each of the above goals.

A DECADE GONE BY

Wow a decade… that is like a very long time and at the start of it I was thirty and at the end of it like 40!! Ah, so what, I love it! I am having so much fun.

Myself and my older brother have been trying to explain this phenomena to our younger brother (still in his 30s and with a new-ish baby)!!

Looking back on the last decade opened my eyes to the sheer amount of stuff that happened in the last 10 years;

2010 – Can’t remember. It is simply too long ago. Only messing…. Kind of. First year of creating a new Christmas world – skiing with the gang.

2011 – Started my own business!!! Massive leap J

2012 – The year I gave up the cigarettes for good!!

2013 – Went to college for the first time and ran into this Clare woman! Mad as a brush, fabulous like cake on your birthday and gosh if she thinks she can get rid of me, she will have to think again!!

2014 – First visit to the big Apple!! Dreams passing me right by!

2015 – Graduated from college and kept hanging with that mad Clare woman!!

2016 – One event that turned me upside down! Literally!! Strictly Come Dancing West Clare GAA Style!! Amazing memories treasured forever.

2017 – This year was a lot about water!! A cruise with my wonderful mum to start the year and an amazing trip to Lough Derg where I got the opportunity to Kayak with a wonderful giggling bunch of hardcore women!!

2018 – One of the more significant years in this last decade for me at a very personal level which really took me out of my comfort zone. I started hiking, musicing lots, laughing and crying a lot more and certainly learning a lot more about myself.

2019 – Oh so many memories!! First ever half marathon, abseiling out of Thomond Park, lots of music events, lots of great friends, my daughter closing the door on childhood, my 40^th which I spent celebrating as a volunteer in the most magical of places; Barretstown, travel for work and leisure… oh this list can go on.

Maybe just because I can remember some of it!!!

There we are, first blog post of the new decade. A simple start, albeit I feel a bit cobwebby in my writing abilities!

Here is a toast to 2020 and all the magic that it is about to bring!!

2010

2019

Time to get writing again and what better time to do it then when sitting on the airplane on the way to meet my new nephew for the first time! So very excited and with my three amigos in tow it promises to be entertaining… to put it mildly!!

I have always maintained it’s the little things and the last 10 days have brought so many moments which have made me laugh, laugh some more and laugh again.

This blog post needs to come with a small health warning.

I went to Cork and mingled with Corkonians!!

A LARGE BANANA & MUD SLIDING AT LUNCH TIME

Last week I had the pleasure of working with a group of people in Cork for 3 days. This bunch was a real hearty Irish group that put some evidence behind the Irish being the happiest population in Europe.

On day 2 myself and 4 of the gentlemen in the group decided to, as upcoming safety representatives and a safety professional, to go on a walk in the sunny south. The facility offered a beautiful walk around a green area which we opted for on this fresh spring afternoon.

It all went very well until we neared the end when we met this dip in the green hills and the dip was nothing more than a full on mud slide! We all approached it with caution and a quick dynamic risk assessment determined the grass was a better path option allowing for a prompt run into a tree of rescue!

4 out of 5 made it safely to the bottom of the dip but the one sir that minded the rest of us wasn’t so lucky and took part in a lunch time mud challenge sliding down the hill with most of the back of his clothes fully destroyed with mud.

Full of sympathy and conscious of the now pending incident investigation (we are safety people) we did exactly what you would expect. LAUGHED!!

But laughing at the suffering does not go unpunished and when trying to get up the other side two more of us, myself included, lost footing and slid in to mud too.

Coming back into the place of work we all needed a cup of sweet tea. The people in the canteen gave us quite a look between the mud coming up to our ankles and the laughter. It was many moons ago since I laughed that hard, particularly at work! One gentleman, with only dripping wet shoes, was laughing so hard he was sweating, the other one laughed so hard he got pressure over his sinuses whilst the other one laughed with tears rolling down his face!!

So there is what not to do on your lunch break and especially not when you work in safety. I can think of way safer options…… but they are of course not my style and certainly not as much fun.  😉

I can only say that a feedback form following a course has never had this stated on it!!

One more story from Cork!!

On the last day it was time for the group to sit the exam and as one person needed to leave sooner I skipped lunch to let him get it done! Being exceptionally kind, the only lady in the group, offered me a banana out of her handbag. At first it may have seemed as a threat as she pulled it out of her bag holding onto it as a gun and on top of it the banana was probably the biggest banana I ever did see.

One of the male group members mentioned that it was certainly intimidating for the male audience in the room!

As I peeled it the “gentleman” sitting next to me, what after his statement seemed like too close, said “You know never to look someone in the eye when you are eating a banana”……..

I nearly went for the fork and bowl to mash it 🙈😝

It didn’t stop there but I can’t write a full blog about my visit to Cork which also included getting called a Safety Stork, talking about how Cork school kids gets stars placed in their forehead and much more.

It was a fabulous few days mixing my day job with some seriously fun personalities, stories and memories.

SOMETIMES IT’S A SHOW

Not every day is a good day, not for any of us, but certainly not for me. However the show must go on. During one of my off days, whilst delivering a manual handling training course, it dawned on me just how capable we are of putting on a show when we really need to.

The feedback form from one of the participants said “phenomenal speaker”….. What a word and it meant a lot to me that day as I was holding back a great deal of grumpiness and a little sadness!!!

As my job is working with people I need to stay focused, energetic and positive. I have learnt over the years how to do this, whilst at the same time ensuring that I find the time to just be too. Important to not stow away any of those emotions…. They make us who we are.

BINGO DISCRIMINATION & THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT…. EVER!!

I’ll start by saying that I am all for equality, not being discriminatory and all that jazz. But when the local bingo is changing one would wonder…!!!!!

So our parish has bingo every Sunday night (FYI I have never been) but this Sunday the discussion came around to the pending changes to how we are meant to call the numbers at bingo.

1. 88 – Two Fat Ladies – NO NO NO….. well what are we supposed to call it then? Asked one of our local gentlemen. Obese females?
2. 69….. seriously there is children at bingo and also elderly
3. 11 – Two long legs. That one remains ok…. Although I think I might be a little insulted. I’ve short legs….

They should have heard our banana discussion at bingo!!

So I want to finish this blog with telling you about one of the biggest compliments I have ever received!!! Especially when considering I am turning 40 this year.

The other day a man who was buying cattle called to the front door. Not having met me before he looked at me for a while (not really shy of looking either) and asked me was I Joe’s…. hmmm… daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will live on that forever more!!

Nearly time for landing so it’s a wrap for now!! Happy Valentines everybody!

In my last blog post I took a quick look on the happenings of 2018. When looking at it I realised that I had done quite the amount!!! Quite a valuable lesson for a person like me who would normally consider myself to not get enough done in any aspect of life! There is always that to do list and performance anxiety.

I do recommend that you do what I do when the going gets tough! Write down what you have done and treasure that instead of what is left!

To this post!! In this blog I have three things on the agenda! Rocks, resolutions for 2019 and rebelling against it all!!!

Caught Between a Rock, a Bunch of Burren Bullocks & a Most Competitive Sing Song

Went for the first hike of 2019 this weekend gone! This time to the Burren and to conquer Mullaghmore! This one (noted I might say this every time) was probably one of my favourites to date. With the combination of the landscape, the little bit of hardship (cliff hanging), fresh air and amazing company this is one to add to good memories.

One of the highlights was running into a fine bunch of Burren Bullocks and you always know when there is one male species in the pile to be wary of. He stands slightly away from his friend, totally pretends not to be looking at you, yet you know that this is precisely what he is doing. Using his peripheral vision to catch you and pin you against the rock the first chance he gets. But I haven’t lived on a farm for the past 18 years for nothing. I can handle the male species.

Whilst fellow hikers (a young, fit and strong looking couple) turned around I was adamant to get myself and my hiking partner (if possible) past this beast. So, keeping our backs close to the cliff wall, careful not to make a sound and of course not be seen in our bright pinks and blues we edged past him off the path! (Ever watched cliff hanger??)

Phew, got us there professionally and safely with muck up to our ankles, forgetting my fear for heights and a slight requirement to get to a bathroom quickly! However we continued on straight through the remaining, much friendlier looking herd!! Yeah, girl power!!

Keep in mind for this next part that the lady I was hiking with is fairly competitive and that I am not much better. We decided that instead of talking we would begin a sing song where one song would have to be related to the next!! We are still singing… and most definitely still competing. As the song goes ‘The Winner Takes it All’.

Then there is that comment that you say, that you know you shouldn’t have said. “Isn’t that the rock I took a photo of earlier……. To which, although I got a reply, I didn’t really need one. We were after all hiking through a limestone landscape! But…. Look at the picture. This rock is fairly special don’t you think!!

THE ROCK!

THE COMPETITION

SNEAKY……

RESOLUTIONS

It is high time to set out some of the resolutions for 2019! As a tradition I don’t set or start mine fully until the first week in February! January is too much pressure to commit as everyone is going mad with all their 151 resolutions. This just makes me feel under pressure to perform again so I wait a little to get mine started. In saying that I have them written down, in a sealed envelope and I will re-open early January 2020 to look at progress!!

Here are a few of my resolutions;

1. To have lots of fun! I managed this last year and intent to manage it again this year! Keep pushing past musts and maybes and just have fun with my kids, my family, my friends, my work and work colleagues and of course with me!! I will try new things, go new places, meet new people and do some crazy s….tuff!!!!
2. Addictions – Oh I intend to keep some of them up!! I don’t believe all addictions to be bad ones and some releases your true you!!
3. My final tattoo until my 80^th birthday! This one bigger and bolder than those I have since before. (Sorry mum). This one is already in motion although we have not yet got to February!!
4. Keep Fit. I started this journey last year with the marathon plan. I am adamant to continue to keep fit, get fitter and sweat a lot!!
5. Breaking the comfort zone. This I want to do over, and over, and over again!!! To be challenged in all parts of your life creates and energy and drive that is to be reckoned with. Therefore, I will embrace the challenges that 2019 throws at me and push past my fears and inhibitions with gusto!!
6. Keep on finding MyMe and most importantly accepting MyMe!

My final one and probably one that summarises all the above, to some extent, is to be a REBEL in my own day to day life! Before anyone gets a chance please don’t call being a rebel having a midlife crisis! I am so not even near one of those!!! I’m just embracing life!! Oh I know the rules, but the rules don’t know me!

Turning 40 this year is one of the challenges coming and ahead of this I intend to make sure I am strong, healthy and bubbly from the inside out!  Started this week with a small spout of retail therapy, which certainly saw me start from the inside out, rebelling against the odds, breaking my comfort zone and having lots of giggles!!!

Keep Fit Resolution Started

Inside Out

Oh, did I mention that I intend to have fun!!!

What does your resolutions look like?

Have a great week!

It’s over, it’s over, it’s over…. Back to reality with Christmas already a fading memory. A good one, but fading as we can begin planning for the next one. Got to stop signing things with 2018 for it to be fully over!

I had a great Christmas with a great variety of family time, food, drink, music, catch up with friends, more food, exercise (not enough) and board games.

One of the days I took time out with Ms Quaid and we went to visit the Glen of Aherlow to complete a hike. It turned out to be a most memorable day with a lot of those little moments….!!!

Weather hadn’t been and wasn’t the best so we did venture on some slippery slopes and had more than a number of near misses each! If there had been a fall we were both doomed as we were in the wrong company for help or sympathy! It would have been more photos and laughter….. than plasters and hugs.

During the hike we talked about everything….. everything that you can only talk about when you are alone in the hills of Tipperary! One particular mention and traumatising moment was when the very sophisticated travel companion of mine decided to (behind me) make a complaint about the increase in her level of boob sweat…. As I turned my head (the moment) I realised that in a less than “ladylike” manner she was trying to air and hand dry this sweat all in the one go!! Even I was blushing…..

On our hike we met two fellows jogging…. If you read this, will you please tell me what the story was with the Dunnes Stores shopping bag. Still haven’t figured that one out…..

Once back down the hills we decided on a Guinness & loo stop in Hospital. The only pub open at the time was this amazing old style pub with only a small bar and the bathrooms in through the family home. When coming in there was roughly 8 men around the bar counter and a female bartender.

And they were all Irish. Not only Irish but from Tipperary and it would so remind you of a Pat Short sketch. They didn’t fully know to handle strangers, especially not of the female kind, so the bartender started the inquisition as to why we were there, what we had done, where we were travelling from and so forth! Even her 89 year old mother (original owner of the pub) came out to have a chat!!!

With every answer or comment the group of the finest gentlemen had a comment that rounded in laughter. They settled after a little while to have their own conversations! One that was going on is what priest was used where. This is where Cannon Bacon was mentioned to which one of the chaps called out “You what, your priest is a can of pork”.

These were the group of men in Hospital!!

We finished our day with great food and proper pints (car no longer required to be driven by the chauffeur (me)) back at the Pipers Inn in Killaloe!!

One remark was made by one of the other customers!! “Fantastic, you obviously went for the after Christmas walk and never made it home”!!!

To finish this story Maria made a statement that will stay with me forever!!!!

“The two of us are like two dirty old men on the inside (no offense to old men nor dirty ones) but if anyone would dare to treat you any less than a lady I would kill them”

Friendship and beer talk at its best.

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE………… MOMENTS OF 2018

Over the last week I took a look at the highlights of last year!! Needed to do so before going towards setting out my 2019 resolutions and challenges!! Here is one highlight from each month;

January – I went on my first ever cruise with my fabulous mum and friends! Trip of lifetime. By the way she is celebrating her birthday today!! I also started my blog this month!!

February – Few things into one here! Spent some self-rescue time in Killaloe which brought me to a place I now adore, got me to start hiking which as you know I have continued since, and got me to spend some time with me. In February I also collected my beautiful reflective portrait from the amazingly talented Clare Hartigan! This painting has become a part of my every day in all its magic.

March – SNOW and in particular good memories of the challenges that came with it!! (and I don’t mean the shortage of bread!!)

April – Getting to bring my small kids and new camera on a hike in Ballina!! The Graves of the Leinstermen. We still talk about it.

May – I ran 21.4kms….. Still hard to believe that I did!! Remember the tears of disbelief when I stopped and the beauty of walking my legs into the cold sea!!

June – The Kayaking Trip with the greatest bunch of ladies on Lough Derg!! Amazing from start to finish!!

July – Music!!! Three weekends in a row with music and friends!!

August – I went to Sweden with my daughter and my mum came here!! Treasured family and “home” time.

September – Got some amazing hiking done in September together with a trip to Birmingham which took me out of my comfort zone!

October – I got a new nephew and my baby brother became a dad for the first time!!!! Such a proud auntie and the time for me to meet him is finally nearing!!

November – New York, of course!!! Hard to beat New York and in particular getting to hang with my mum and two brothers. We are now in the planning stages of a holiday for this summer!!

December – December was rocking and full of excitement in a very short amount of time!! My first Christmas Jumper Day, The Riptide Movement, The Blizzards and HamsandwicH, Christmas, Hiking, Family, Food, Drink!! Truly turned out to be one of my favourite months!

These monthly highlights can be summarised into a few headliners which created my #smiles18

• Spending some really great time with my kids Jand getting to know their characters even better.
• Spending some really great time with myself – that is one I am very proud of and one habit I intent to continue.
• Finding, through my time with me as well as time with others, some inner parts of myself which had hibernated for so long they were nearly forgotten. Liberation!!
• Putting some exercise into my life and actually loving it.
• Having fun, trying new things and being a little (quite a lot) bolder which led to time with friends, family, colleagues whilst also creating new friendships.

I am currently accepting challenges for 2019 so let me know if you know how to push me to do something great this year!!

So finishing this blog with this great quote as well as wishing everybody a Happy New Year and best wishes for 2019!! Let’s start those #smiles19 from the outset!!

One more work week to go and then 2018 is really drawing to a close! What a year…. Although most definitely not my type of song…. “Life is a Rollercoaster” is a fairly good title.

This blog will be one of more (not sure how many) that will start to summarise the year gone by. But first…..

OOPS I DID IT AGAIN…..

I can’t help but to see the humour in this so have to share in words! It will never happen that I share this with you in person……. You will see why in just a second….

On Wednesday night last I was staying in the beautiful (warmly recommended) Killaloe Hotel due to some work commitments. On this particular day I had opted to wear a pair of hold up stockings! Feeling good from the inside out and all that….. (ok probably don’t need to justify wearing them)….

Arriving to the hotel I got the stocking caught and it tore exactly around the sticky part that holds it in place….. and so it began to roll down. Now imagine managing this gracefully…… Pulling it up into position worked when sitting down but when standing up it immediately began to roll down….. slowly towards the ankle! So I had to pull it up and hold my skirt and stocking in place (with my good hand – the right one), get my bag, open the door, talk to the porter…….. By the time I reached the hotel room… one leg was skin coloured and the other black.

It is no wonder I ended up in West Clare and not New York….. they wouldn’t have been able for my classy lady behaviour nor attempts at being a sophisticated professional career woman!!

CLOSING IT OUT

So in starting to close out 2018 I thought I would start with picking 12 words which defines how my year has been with some words picked out by friends and family!! Here goes;

1. Rollercoaster
2. Self-Care
3. Power
4. Change
5. Turmoil
6. Adventurous
7. Passion
8. Excitement
9. Drive
10. Fun
11. Boldness
12. Weirdwonderfulness

There are more words belonging to the pile but….. leaving it at that!!

MARY, MAL, MUSIC & SEAWEED

Oh third time… The Riptide Movement. This time in Dolan’s Warehouse, Limerick. And what a night!!!!

Started slightly uncomfortable! Decided to go out of my own comfort zone and wear a shorter, tighter & sparklier dress than I would normally wear! My fears of how I looked totally settled once I went to the bathroom for this first time.

This is where I met Mary. She came out of one of the toilets and commenced explaining the current toilet roll status and how we should all help one another. I politely replied (my mother has me trained) and in doing so Mary announced “You look only gorgeous” as she explained that she had make up on herself for the first time in 10 years and had cut her own hair as she was dying it black! She polished off our new friendship with a big hug and kiss on the cheek…… I sighed a breath of relief as a bathroom cubicle became free and one WITH toilet paper at that.

They night continued in amazing style! We sang, drank and danced lots and towards the end of the gig we headed up the front of the stage for a good old fashioned dance!! I had to film the band a little and in doing so got a wave from Mal, (well the camera did) the lead singer. I was slightly excited…. But it got even better!! After the gig when we had settled in quietly in the bar over another round of shots (tequilas this time I believe) the man himself, the lead singer, my second husband (although he doesn’t know it yet nor does my existing one) came into the bar!!! Like a true gentleman when asked to come over for a picture, he sure did and a small chat with it…… Aghhhhh so exciting!!!

The night ended around 4.00am (I think) with a pint of water and diversions from cider in the Killaloe Hotel!! Just one of those….

To finish this blog post I have to write about the best hangover cure I have ever been through! On Sunday afternoon I headed for a Seaweed Bath on the shores of Clahane in Liscannor together with Edel! Tucked in, side by side, in the foetal position in a barrel of hot salty water and seaweed….. well what more can I say! A truly different experience which left me feeling great from all the laughter (we are no good for tranquillity), the spray of water with the wind into the face and the slimy (apparently good for you) seaweed!!!

Go do it! It is well worth it 😄

It really is! Mainly because of me having spent a week with my family (mum and two brothers) behaving just like the kids we used to be but ….. as adults! It doesn’t really work that way, or does it?!

The giggles and follow up images and GIFs certainly said it hasn’t changed a bit! Burps, farts, snoring, sleep talking, sleep walking and getting very drunk…..Memories made and I do miss them already. (The Family that is)

A Yellow Cab with Strangers

It must be that friendly face of mine…??? Having reached the top of the queue for a yellow taxi leaving JFK the “check-in man’ asked  trip for two is it? I got slightly confused for a second as I was travelling solo. As I looked over my right shoulder I realised that the Cork man behind me (that accent doesn’t fool anyone) was standing slightly next to me with his wife still behind. So I couldn’t help myself but to say ‘unless you want to come with me?’. A great big laugh broke out which ended up with me sitting in between him and his wife all the way into Manhattan sharing great stories in a very un-awkward manner – very Irish!! (it was desperately warm however)!!!

Dead Rabbit Whiskey & Watermelon

Arriving to a NYC hotel late afternoon without an ability to check in is not a good idea…. Especially not the day after!!

I had five hours to spend with New York City and what better way to do so but a little bit of Black Friday shopping (consisting of a Christmas pyjamas) (I hate shopping) followed by a burger & beer, mingle at Time Square followed by settling down in the bar across the road from the hotel to await the arrival of the Swedish gang!

Spent the hours (2) with a New Orleans Man, an Irish Barman and later on in the evening a Welsh Barman drinking my regular drink of Jameson & Ginger Ale. Talking to the man from NO about Gaelic Football (gosh I don’t know where my Swedishness has gone) the Irish Barman decided it was time to introduce himself! A Dubliner having lived in NY for 10 years.

After my third drink I ran across to meet the family and when my younger brother wanted a drink….. I wasn’t one to say no and guess what. The bar stood a round of drinks on my return! This time the Welsh Barman introduced himself and another round was had one the house. We stayed until maybe, possible (I really have no idea) 2am, 3am which means it was now time to get up for work back home….. The finishing drink was a Dead Rabbit Whiskey cocktail….. with the word finishing having a whole new meaning…..

Came back to the hotel where my mother had to tuck me in (just like old days) and I fell asleep fully clothed…. Woke up at 8am with a slight hangover which left me in bed whilst the remainder of the crew had breakfast. I surfaced….  that’s all….  around 11am.

Felt ok, impressed with my own ability to recover so I bought some watermelon, red berries and a bottle of water. Walked on and suddenly……. An overwhelming sense of nausea…. Right in the middle to Time Square….. I will never live down the colourful creation….

Fuck Trump – He Stole My Weed!!

There are a lot of homeless people in NYC all competing for the attention of the people passing by. Three in particular stood out for me.

The first man was standing in the vicinity of Macy’s Department Store, better dressed than myself.  Tweed suit and all. He was asking for money….. Made us all stop in our tracks and I wonder was he doing a documentary….. It was just ‘weird”.

The second one had the best sign post….. the heading!!! Fuck Trump – He Stole My Weed. So he obviously doesn’t like Trump but he was also asking for money to replenish stock??

Then the last, he must be my favourite!! He said in his homeless husky (hoarse really) voice, as I was entering the hotel – “I love your hair”. It certainly gave me a fit of the giggles….. and a sensation of NOT AGAIN!!!!

Lace, Latex & Lubricants

Try walking through a 3 story Victoria Secret Shop with your younger brother. These are the items surrounding you. He looking for his girlfriend, me looking for me…. Just wasn’t happening without bringing us right back to childhood. Red faces, lots of giggles and confused faces (his more than mine) with how the hell all the strings, holes and ribbons were to be positioned!!

At least mum gracefully stood to one side waiting for us to come out and my older brother went to the more “not required to be censored section” Pink!

So did I end up empty handed…..?? Who knows. (my brother certainly doesn’t)!!!

Back Home

I love NYC and believe it truly was meant to be my home…. In saying that, there is nothing better than getting back to my true home, to my kids.

My Bella had prepared a scavenger hunt which had me running up and down the stairs in and out of rooms looking for clues until I found her in the kitchen with a bunch of flowers and quote jar…. Think they missed me…

Finishing off with a two year anniversary mention!!! This day two years ago was the day that started my SimplyMalin and MyMe journey!! The day of Strictly Come Dancing West Clare GAA Style!! So many great memories!!!

So here is to December one of my favourite times of year! Christmas is looming, lingering dark evenings, homes feel warm and fussy and there are lots of events and festivities to attend to and the excitement of what Santa might bring me is starting to brew…. Still a child at heart ❤️

Oh what a week it has been………….. My eldest daughter has applied to college, my middle one to secondary school and my son wants a hyper golden retriever for Christmas!

This blog post will start with the sharing of a few more of those little moments, followed by a look at what an alternative CV might look like. I will finish by talking about revelations around my strengths and weaknesses and what has led November to start being my most favourite time of year!!

BURKEES, CUBICLES & HUMPS

I certainly can’t blame my language barrier for saying the wrong thing….. at the most perfectly wrong time!! But this week I did just that. But first some other players had some wrong wording going on.

Last Sunday as my son came out of rugby training he announced that the trainer had them doing Burkees and that they were really hard. This of course led to me having to ask what on earth a burkee was? (Not all that up to date with the Rugby lingo just yet). Described perfectly I soon realised that this was not in fact a rugby term but instead my sons intention was to say that they had done burpees. When corrected (politely) he insisted that the trainer had said Burkees….. Oh he is a man in the making.

Next up was my little Bella!! She was showing me a new case she is using to keep her nail kit in. She explained she had the file, the false nails and the thing you push back your cubicles with!! I was double folded laughing. This girl is a farmers’ daughter for sure….

Then it was my turn! During lunch at work this week we had a discussion about the mumps currently going around in certain colleges. One of the girls mentioned that it probably won’t spread as college students certainly avoid rubbing off each other (sarcastically saying so of course). I hyperventilated briefly as myself and my eldest daughter had applied for her to go to college only the night before……

Over dinner that evening, with all the family seated, (which never happens) I went on to ask my daughter had she heard what illness was going around the colleges, Oblivious as she was I went onto tell her that it was in fact the humps….. yes I said the HUMPS…. To my near 17 year old daughter. Two red faces at the table, followed by long silence, followed by laughter that  is still ringing in my ears!! Talk about a slip of the tongue….

MY ME CV – A QUIRKY ALTERNATIVE

Over the past few weeks we have been discussing truths about ourselves that you would never put on a CV but possibly should. If nothing else I believe HR folks reading them would be more entertained by this version then by the one that reads similar to all others.

As a result of these discussions I decided to give it a go…… to prepare my Alternative CV, the one that best describes My Me. Here goes.

CURRICULUM VITAE

I am a hardworking, team player with excellent communication skills and……. That is what all the others wrote and I am not all the others….

I am me. Below you will find my alternative CV. The one that will demonstrate my true colours.

FIRST NAME

MALIN. I was given this name as it in Sweden didn’t rhyme with anything in particular and it had no r’s. It has nothing to do with Malin head but it a Swedish name which is taken from the Woman of Magdala (maybe a rhyme or an r would have been better).

Pronunciation: Málín

SURNAME

KELLY. Went from the most common surname in Sweden, Andersson, to the most common surname in Ireland.

TRAITS (GOOD & BAD)
Unique – There really is no one else like me. Really
Impatient – Prefer NOW
Visualiser – Yep…. Same as daydreamer but in modern terms ‘Mindfulness Practitioner’
Passionate – Borderline obsessive
Maturish – Old but I’m not that old, young but I am not that bold
Special – At least that is what my mother says
Pepsi Addict – We all have bad habits
Quick Witted  – Seeing the fun in life
Giggly – Both at the right and the wrong time
Discombobulated  – What’s going on?
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious – To good of a word to leave off the list.

WORK EXPERIENCE

A well experienced, probably one of the best, jugglers you would ever see. I juggle;

• 2 Businesses
• 3 Kids
• A Home
• A Husband
• Friends
• My Passion for Writing
• Hiking, Running & The Gym
• Reading

And if time permits…. Myself!

EDUCATION

My mainstream education is twofold;

1. School of Life – Here I probably learnt most of the things I know.
2. School of Mistakes & Failures – Has provided me with the best learnings.

HOBBIES

• Everything that drowns me makes me want to fly
• Everything that kills me makes me feel alive
• Oh and then there is that hobby that will just never be shared…. Classified information.

THE ONE THING ONLY ONE PERSON KNOWS ABOUT ME

Wouldn’t you like to know! There is a reason that only one person knows.

REFERENCES

If you want honest references please contact one of the following;

• My Mum
• My Kids
• My Accountant
• My Hairdresser
• My Local Barman

STRENGTHS -V- WEAKNESSES

As part of my MyMe journey I have been thought to reflect and turn things around on their head. This is an exceptional challenge and in particular when you learn that what you once thought was your strengths sometimes are the opposite. They are your weaknesses…..

I feel something so right doing the wrong thing and I feel something so wrong doing the right thing!!!

As this post is already long enough I won’t write more about this now. Instead I will ask you to list your S&W and try to turn them on their head! It is some learning curve….

To finish…. I think November has become one of my favourite months of the year!! It has certainly started on a high note and I believe it is set to continue as I have to do a reflection at mass (oh, oh), as I am travelling to the Big Apple, my city, with my mum and two brothers and as I can talk about and listen to Christmas every day for the next 6 weeks!!!!

So let’s go November!!

PS. Thank you to OneRepublic for some great quotes!!

So I would have for many years branded myself as a “good girl”, a well behaved woman.

In recent times this status has been tested…….. tested good and hard and has made me understand that being that good girl, that well behaved woman is not necessarily the right way for me to find MyMe.

It is known that well behaved women rarely make history….. I do want to make history!!! I don’t mean that I want to land myself in a history book, I just want to make my time count and matter, for ME, not just for others.

The best part…. I have every opportunity to do it!! May take a little imagination, a little boldness, lots of craziness and a whole lot of self-care.

So guess what, I am going to take out all the colours of the rainbow and paint my life in spectacular colours. My colours.

MINDFULNESS V CRAZINESS

As you know I have recently taken to hiking!! Try to do one or two hikes per month to replace some of my running while healing my ankle. On one of my recent hikes I caught myself in three moments which made me truly question my sanity!!

It started with a ferns bush, yes a ferns bush. I was climbing on a wood path up towards the top of the hike when a breeze passed. Whatever way it behaved but it managed to pick on one ferns bush out of a big bunch, which made it look like the ferns bush was waving at me……. You couldn’t guess what I did, I waved back. Yes I waved back and said hello (out loud). To a fern bush…..

This was closely followed by my apology to a bird that I scared out of his/her nest and a crawling through the woods to catch a photo of a mushroom. An important mushroom with lots of memories from my childhood, a “flugsvamp”. (think it may have looked like I was hunting for a bathroom spot)

Following my hike I just had to enquire about my sanity…… when telling someone the story they said “That is not craziness, you have mastered mindfulness”.

So is mindfulness and version of craziness or craziness a version of mindfulness? One would wonder…….

RESTRICTIONS

I recently visited a friend of mine and in the true spirit of Halloween her 5 year old son was telling me all he knows about the characters from scary movies. In the midst of telling me about Jason from the movie titled Friday the 14^th he went about telling me about why Jason turned evil. It was because he drowned in a big river and no one saved him.

To really help me visualise the river he ran up and down the kitchen floor saying in a big river like this or like that one he said pointing towards the fridge. On the fridge was a picture of a fountain and outside the window a lake. So I had to ask was it similar to the one outside or the one on the fridge to which he replied, like only a five year old can; “Like the one on the fridge, only straight.

These conversations is what has made me write this last piece of the blog. Because in children we see no restrictions, inhibitions or filters. They say what they need to say, express emotions they need to express, be who they need to be and most certainly behave the way they need to behave in a given moment. (this is possibly not the way we want them to behave but…..)

I was recently asked to consider how I behave towards others , why I behave in certain ways and most importantly what it gives back  to me to behave in that particular way. Challenging question right……. and one that will come with the realisation that some relationships places restrictions upon us which prevents us from being fully and holistically ourselves.

A classical and none personal example to give would be how we behave when the boss walks in the room. How we do not necessarily say what we want to say, how we don’t challenge their opinion, how we do not engage in learning fully, how we leave the seat next to them empty. All because we are afraid of what may happen if we say the wrong thing, how they will react to feedback or correction, what they will think about our abilities and comprehension. But guess what…. They are humans too and put the same restrictions on themselves as you do on you.

In my own world; last December (if memory serves me right) I let go of one small restriction when I let a client know to not forget me if a specific opportunity would come up. I knew in my gut that they would not have considered me for this opportunity based on my current behaviours in my role there. Now…… it has taken a year….. but what a challenge that is about to come!!!

It is only when you can begin to let go of such restrictions that you will get to know who you truly are and surround yourself with relationships that makes you shine!!! Plough straight through those big bold barriers!!!

So as a new week is dawning and another Monday is looming!! Hope you have your paint brushes out to colour it crazily magical! I do.

Bring it!!!

Today marks my first birthday on SnapChat and oh has it been educational. Therefore I suggest that you now get yourself  prepared, as I will in this blog share my 12 months as a snap chatter and in particular talk about the many characters that I have met on my journey!!

You ready to hear it??!!! Then let’s go!! I’ll break in gently and finish with the reality that made me look at the world in a whole new light!!!

WHERE IT BEGAN……

On the 15^thOctober last year I went to Tubridy’s Bar, our local, to enjoy a few drinks and as always, that I did, until the lights were out. On the same night two local fellows, no names mentioned, (you know who you are), were emphasising / promoting the fabulousness of Snapchat and showing and demonstrating all its perks.

Wakening up on the 16^th October with a slight hangover I decided to get my kids to educate me some further and thought I would give it a 24 hour trial…..

This trial changed my life and most certainly my perception and views about many, many, many things and many many people!!!

So here are some of the stories from my first year on SnapChat!!

GETTING SET UP

The set-up of your accounts is nearly a bigger step than signing up to use the app in the first place. First you have to pick your SnapChat name then you have the impossible task (one they seem to be making harder) of creating your Bitmoji.

This Bitmoji creation is a little like I envisage it to be like for those that draw the faces of criminals (well at a minimum suspects) based on other people’s descriptions. When you have finally settled on one that resembles someone totally different you best remember to keep it updated, there is always someone who will note that you have not washed your hair or changed your clothes for the past six months.

Oh and then when sending a Snap you have to select the right filter or if not at least # the no filter….

Then there is this whole thing of STREAKS…… comparing it to my eldest daughter is laughable but I did go over 100 days once…. Then lost it without taking notice….

Then when finally set up you have to of course figure out how people will find you…. and harder again how will you find them?

Seriously…… talk about social media pressure and someone needing to write a manuscript for the rules and most importantly non-rules for SnapChat!!! Phew…. I’m certainly not as young and savvy as I feel 🙈

INDECENT PROPOSALS & UNSOLICITED D**K PICS

There are quite a few categories of characters on snapchat including what I would have thought based on my normal social media usage are “normal” relationships. These would have included friends, family, neighbours, work colleagues and some celebrities.

My very first friend on SnapChat was actually a work colleague!!!! (Think you know who you are too)!

However then some of those (not including celebrities on my account, turn out to be;

• Stalkers– those whom you know are always watching your stories but never comments or snaps directly. I believe in modern terminology that this may be called ghosting.
• Spending their time in a love / hate relationship with you. One day you’re their friend, the next day you’re not, then you are fully blocked (this whole thing being yet another education for me) and then guess what your friends again……
• Restrictors– this one mainly apply to my family members (teenage children) whom are willing to snap with me but god forbid I can see their story…….
• Crazy, brave, boundary pushing…….This category has led to the title above so will expand a bit more here but before I do People in this category; have you no shame!!!???

So during my year on SnapChat the last listed category above is the one that has educated me fully to the reality behind this app and its possibilities, adventures and total lack of limitations.

I have heard things I would never have thought I wanted to hear and, as you can probably guess based on the very functionality of SnapChat see things that I would never have thought I wanted to see…… some things I most definitely didn’t want to see.

The of course I have on the contrary been asked to say things I would never say and show things I would never show…. (this being a worry when you’re a parent to teenage kids)!!!! If adults can ask, they most certainly will and can.

There have been indecent proposals, from both neighbours, friends (?) and work colleagues. One thing is for sure an certain Christian Grey, ain’t got a patch on this category of Snap Chatters as for some weird and wonderful reason we trust that nothing will be saved and nothing will be shared, as is the rules of SnapChat….. ?? So why set limitations on our requests and displays, when we feel we don’t have to.

To finish my categories; I will certainly never, ever, forget the day I received my first unsolicited d**k pick…… and there has been more since. I remember sharing this trauma with those two buggers that thought I should be on it in the first place…… Their response –  a SnapChat video singing about those unsolicited d**k pics. Not a mention of support for my trauma.

So to all my SnapChat friends… and especially some. Thank you for the education, the journey, the laughs, the blushing and for many shared moments. You will certainly feature in my book about MyMe because some of you have had dramatic impact in shaping the me I am becoming and working on maintaining.

To summarise I have had a great year on SnapChat…… but not yet fully convinced I will remain on it for a second year…..

Would you?

Trying out the filters for two!!

My younger daughter wondering what I am doing in the middle of a field. Festival day!!!

I love Sunday’s…… the one day in the week that is chill out, family time and me time!

Today I am mending what I believe might be day 2 of a hangover of some sort….. and what better way to mend it but writing a new blog post from the comfort of the couch. So here we go!

DOING THINGS WITH ME, FOR ME, TO KEEP MY SMILE

I know I have mentioned it before but I think it worth mentioning again! When I am not feeling like myself, for whatever reason, there is one main thing that I work on to ensure that I can re-build my confidence and my own inner strength.

I work on being a loner, a comfortable loner.

The past two weekends brought this to light again as I had last Sunday all to myself followed by a 4 hour stint in Killarney yesterday as my daughter and friends was attending a Chasing Abbey concert in the INEC.

Starting with last weekend I woke up my normal early time (god be with the days when one would have decent sleep ins) and I got some of the early morning chores out of the way. Sitting at the kitchen table doing some work I realised, with a serious dose of frustration, that working on a Sunday was the last thing I needed, especially when home alone and with the autumn sun splitting the rocks outside the window.

So I packed a bag, got the hiking boots on an headed for the 12 O’Clock Hills in Crag outside Kilkishen. Starting out I still felt frustrated within but after the first 15 minutes of the hike I started to take in my surroundings and by the time I got to the top you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face! What a view and a warm recommendation to anyone who hasn’t completed this trail!! After the 360 degree view at the top, blood (tore my lip) (don’t ask), sweat (it is 900 metres up) and tears from that wind I reached the bottom with my hair smelling of autumn and I was once more ready to take on the world.

Then yesterday afternoon I took my near 17 year old daughter and her two friends to Killarney!! This one a bit tougher to face into alone….  But proud to say I did it and that not only because I couldn’t get out of bed until about 2pm after losing count of the whiskeys the night before. Proud because on a Saturday night I walked into Killarney town (taking in some more stunning scenery) and sat into a restaurant for a three course meal followed by another walk around the hustling and bustling Kerry town.

It may have looked odd that I was on my own but what must have really completed the slightly sympathetic looks I was getting was my inability to stop giggling to myself as I took on the first few chapters of Emer McLysaght’s and Sarah Breen’s book Oh My God, What a Complete Aisling.

Not being Irish but having succumbed to the Irish ways this book captures Irishness in way that would make you cry of laughter. Already on page 18 my first “laugh out loud” moment occurred. Just listen to this;

“And no sooner is she back from the honeymoon than she’s off planning a hen party for her cousin Suzanne. I heard her on the phone the other day organising a cocktail class and describing the Fifty Shades theme to the poor craythur on the other end. I mean, a hen isn’t a hen without willy straws and L-plates but I’ve read all three books out of interest and I wouldn’t want Donna draping anal beads around my neck.”

Absolutely weak at so many components of those few sentences…..

Read it!!!

PRAYING FOR A RAPID UPDATE TO THE FASHION SCENE

So although I managed to survive my own company in Killarney I just about survived the fashion sense of three girls I brought with me.

It is not often that I pray but here it is an official prayer to the fashion gods and the celebs that makes these clothes fashionable to change the pattern (no pun intended) as soon as possible.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, left to the imagination in the little bits of material they wear….. and trying to be a cool sophisticated mum in all of it is not doable….. It is either let them wear it and know it, or tell them no way and they hide it! For Killarney I put the sunglasses on until darkness fell and sat low in the seat of the car anytime they decided to be in my close proximity!!!!

Let’s just say that myself and my daughter won’t be swopping tops anytime soon….

AUTUMN VIBES & 28 MORE DAYS

Finishing this post with a small hello to autumn which has officially arrived! So far so good as it has proven itself to bring many golden moments between sunshine, rain, wind and gorgeous scenery! So many beautiful moments  I stopped the car a few times this week to capture its magnificence.

There are now just 28 days to go until the Dublin City Marathon is on and the one I had earmarked to be my first…. Although back chewing road and still living in hope I am beginning to own up to the reality that it will have to be another one that becomes my first…. But I will still keep it up for 28 more days to see where it brings me.

Leaving you with this quote and all well wishes for a fantalastic October!!!!

“When nothing goes right….. take a left”

It really is as simple as that.

Thought it was time to scribble again!! Just a short one this time. 😁

I am already prepared for my mid October blog post which I myself believe will be quite revealing as it will focus in on my first year as a snap chatter whereas at the same time raising the predicament of whether to remain one or not!!!!

This post however will talk a little bit about my work! Don’t bore people with it too often and also some more of those funny conversations that happened over the last few days.

LET’S START WITH BIRMINGHAM

On Sunday evening I went to Shannon Airport to fly with Aer Lingus (on the smallest plane I have ever been on) to Birmingham where I was going, for the first time, attending a two day IOSH (health, safety and wellbeing) conference, all by myself!!

What an amazing two days! Sure moments of – I CANT TAKE NO MORE INFORMATION – but so many excellent speakers, fabulous participants and of course a Heineken or two to mingle with.

It is hard to single out one speaker, or one topic which was better than the others but one of my favourites (that I hadn’t seen or heard before) was the Health, Safety and Security Manager from Merlin Entertainments whom spoke about the Smiler crash (roller coaster ride in Alton Towers) in a very clear and open manner…… One thing he said that stuck with me and which I believe may be applied to life as well as work is that when in a crisis “run to manage it or someone else will manage it for you”.

Outside of lots of ideas and want to do’s within my career I also had some good me time and give myself a little pat on the back for going it alone!! Had some great food in some very nice restaurants, I toured the city and the Bullsring of course and had some CIDER which I would gladly go back for too!!!

AND THEN THE HAIR…….

A few times over the last few weeks I have got comments about (not my words) “the dramatic change in my looks” over the last few years. As late as today at work, when wearing a badge with my photo, someone said you might need to request a new one of those badges because you can’t be wearing someone else’s!!

It has also been brought home to me what one of those main changes are….. my hair!! I have this un-tamable mess that loves weather but does not love me!! But I have learned to appreciate its bushiness, frizziness, curls, kinks and temperament. However, I have never, ever had anyone come up to me and want to feel my hair….. until yesterday!!!

After facing straight into the winds of Ali my morning sleekness had turned to – how will I word this – a mess!! However, walking through Birmingham International, this young Italian man (totally stereotyping because of his accent) came up to me and said! Can I tell you about our skincare product. I very politely declined and he followed up with “Madam (oh there is that age thing again), would you mind if I asked you a question? I said of course not, ask away. Quoting the Italian

“I love your hair – can I feel it”…… WHAT????? I just laughed that one off nervously and politely answered, as reared by my mother, maybe another time…….

Then I thought this whole hair thing was over until a feedback form was filled out today after training delivery and one of the guys in the room wanted to answer (thankfully didn’t) to the question “What did you most like about the trainer”.  The answer….. “Her Hair”.

Is it time to go short again…….?????????

Have a great weekend 😄

PS. Got a new book solely because of the title and the chapter names!!!

This blogging is coming easy these days! Life is currently full of rollercoaster adventures and conversations through which is see the opportunity to write.

For this one it started with a conversation I had with my mother during a recent few days of ill-health… when she was trying to cheer me up (really debatable) like only a mother can!!

Part of the conversation was about the sound effects of bowel movements when unwell but I won’t go into that conversation here, nor anywhere else….. although it did make me laugh!

WHAT IS A RIPE WOMAN IN A GAME OF SCRABBLE?

So the other night, lying on the couch at home reading a book I got a very welcome phone call from my mum. The one person that you always want to talk to when sick, the one you know will make you feel better by just her voice and words.

Well….. Hmmm

This one call was a bit different as I think she seemed to struggle (it must have been a struggle??) with what words of encouragement to give. So as I told her about feeling like I was dying (possibly slight exaggeration) she said something like this;

“Don’t worry, you will be back to yourself soon! (So far so good) Because you are a very ripe woman……”

Now what is that supposed to mean I had to ask? Ripe…. Ripe… No matter how many times I say it I can’t figure out what encouragement that would give me. Ripe….

So she of course went on to try her best to tell me I was a very attractive, ripe woman, which as you can imagine made me jump off the couch. I didn’t jump because I suddenly felt better, I jumped to run to the bathroom to count the wrinkles.

So later that evening I was sharing this story with my near 17 year old!! She started to giggle as she explained the modern terminology for what my mother had just called me.

If we were playing a game of scrabble you would be given the following letters;

I might have had to Google the meaning of this word (FYI not proving anything about my ripeness) and Google told me this;

A sexually attractive older woman, typically one that has children…..

They are lucky I have a sense of humour!!!

#TEARS TO WONDER

Last night I took some time out to movie watching, which rarely happens, as I cannot sit still!!! The pick of the night was the movie Wonder with Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson, Izabela Vidovic and the very talented Jacob Tremblay.

I think I cried from start to finish…. What a truly beautiful story about the struggles to fit in just because we look different than others and equally portraying the difficulties for those that love us unconditionally.

In the movie there was a scene between Auggie (the lead character) and his mum (Julia) where Auggie was really sad and angry because he saw himself as ugly, or more because others sees him as ugly. The rescue words, true to a movie, where that our faces holds the map to the journeys we travelled. Wrinkles each occur because of what we go through on that journey (good and bad) as well as scars because of battles we have had (good or bad). This to me was a wonderful sentiment to why our faces are the way they are. They represent our journey – so far  – and no matter what, that is beauty.

There was however one line at the very end of the movie stuck with me;

“We all deserve a standing ovation, at least once in our lives”.

Hear, hear!

NATURISTIC

I can’t believe that is a word!!! Just said I would chance typing it in and no red lines appeared. Learning is never ending.

To finish this blog I want to re-mention the impact that nature has on managing my me.

When the world starts spinning to fast my favourite go to place is nature….. it has an amazing amount to offer and when it comes to Ireland, possibly more than many other places. Especially when you live in a rural, a very rural, part of the country.

When not feeling well during the week I made my way out into the fields and hills near my home. The sun was shining in my face, the wind blowing through my hair and my feet were getting uncomfortably wet in the long grass. But the sound of my feet walking to the grass made up for it.

I was able to pick and eat a few blackberry’s whilst watching the clouds float by. I got to spend some quality time with me….. in a real rescue environment.

This is where ripe makes a bit more sense….. When you can stop and smile at the sea, the grass in a field and just lie on the grass and look straight up at an amazingly star filled sky. (sober).

By the way that word (naturistic) would give you a scrabble score of 12!!!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!!!

Since the last blog I have had no option but to continue on the streak of #tears18 as the response has been, to say the least, overwhelming.

Thank you to all those of you who have read it, sent your messages, invited me for tea, shared your own sadness and for all the very kind words of encouragement. They mean a lot.

If I have learnt one thing about blogging and sharing thoughts is that two main items get read about quite promptly!! Misery and talk about bodily parts!! Who would have thought??!! 💁

CONTINUING ON THE BUCKET LIST

The bucket list adventures continues…. and I am still not admitting to them being any part of a midlife crisis. Not quite there yet.

There are four main things on the go at the moment;

1. Marathon Training – although I have been out injured for over two months (one of
   the reasons behind #tears18) I am now slowly returning to my running. Not yet fully convinced that I can or will make the Dublin Marathon but keeping it as a target so that I don’t lose focus fully. Have over the last few weeks built it from 10 minute runs, to 45 minute runs and only this last Sunday I mustered a 8 mile run, so will keep slowly increasing time and distance hopeful of a decent return…….. If not I will totally aim for the Beer Marathon in Germany or the Wine Marathon in France. Training must be so much for fun for this too!!
2. Motorbike Rides – part of my bucket list methodology is to face things that I am afraid of but yet have a burning passion for….. I think Harley Davidson’s are awesome…. But I am terrified of the speed on two wheels and in particularly in curves. Therefore I have signed up to MC Lessons. I want to see if I can break that fear and get myself a license to ride a HD! Wish me luck.

3. I am now working on the design of my third last tattoo. I want to get one this year, one for my 40^th(agh next year) and then none until my 80^th Would be delighted to hear your opinion on my tattoo plans for this year! Below is an image of the starting point. It’s my starsign and constellation. What do you think? I also need to select where to put it….. have been considering neck hairline, centre of neck (just under the collar) or in the total opposite direction, my foot.

4. The writing of my book! Have my typing fingers back again so have over the last few weeks got some good writing done…. Not sure if it will ever be fully ready or readable but I’ll keep trying. Besides that I have got the notion that I want to write something more fictional (me and my vivid imagination) so need to keep moving the first one forward!!

I have my bucket list book in which I write about these adventures! One that will be great to hand over to the grandkids someday. Or maybe that will be book 3!!

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS?

In August I finally got the opportunity to go home to Sweden. It was my first visit this year and my first mini break since I was away on my cruise in January…. Which leads me to tell you about my knickers being back to front for a full day….

When educating others around the importance of stress management I often say that we need to realise that the body, mind and soul requires holidays for us to remain focused, motivated and passionate about what we do. Self-love is something that is required to stay strong, energetic and confident. Good to tell others when you forget to practice what you preach…. So I think one can say that I am slightly tired…. Won’t push for exhaustion just yet (hello #tears18). However, when it takes you a full day to realise that you have been wearing your underwear, not inside out, but back to front…. Did I say a full day…. You may realise that you need a break!! So November and NY with my family can’t come soon enough.

So back to where my heart will always be! This week I celebrate 18 years in Ireland. 18 amazing years, which as you know was meant to be 6 months. However when I went back home in August I got some really amazing quality time with my family, friends, the Swedish lifestyle, ABBA and Mamma Mia (don’t tell anyone) so for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel ready to come back to my other home and it didn’t help that my amazing little 12 year old was crying to see me leave as the two of us also got some exceptional quality time together laughing at silly Swedish words (infart, utfart), eating Swedish sweets followed by gyming it off!!!

Once a Swede always a Swede, no matter how Irish I may seem by now!!

BLUE WHALE TESTICLES

This last month has been full of celebrations. My birthday, 7 years of self-employment, 5 years as the Director of Modig and 18 years in Ireland!!!

Being a director, self-employed, is like being on a continuous roller coaster!! Which means if you like adrenaline and risk taking…. You will love it, at least when you’re on top and not queing waiting for the next ride!

For me I try my best to remain up there!!! How?? Through learning more, talking to more people and to make it fun for me and those around me. Health & Safety was never what I intended to do when I grew up… still not sure…. But there are many days that I come home knowing that this is my passion. Because health and safety doesn’t have to be met with an “aghh noo not again” or “here they come to wreck the day” or “more paperwork”.

So when I updated my Manual Handling Training presentation lately and in an aim to (don’t get bored just yet) showcase what incorrect handling can do with regards to transmission of weight we spoke about over a tonne being transmitted across the spine…..

What weighs a tonne?? Most will guess a car or even a small car. But very few will know that it is also two grand pianos or one blue whales testicle!!! What you learn when googling what weighs a tonne…. 🙈😄

The last 6 weeks have been absolutely crazy and a sure sign is that I cannot seem to find the time to write…. but this week I am taking the time!! Looking forward to writing about some of the adventures which have taken place…..

Let’s start with some of the fun stuff!!!

THREE WEEKENDS OF MUSIC!!!

It will be hard to summarise the events in a reasonably long blog post so I may have to tell you about it all over a few of them. However let’s start with talking about the three weekends which nearly made my kids wonder who I was!!! (Kidding)

Starting out on the 20^thJuly! The Coronas in the 3Arena!! All I can say about this concert is wow…. Road trip started from West Clare early in the day where we as a reunited foursome headed towards the Big Smoke!! Made it as far as Annacotty where we of course had to stop for some cold beverages and food.

This was followed by a sit down in the Gibson for a few pre-concert drinks and then we hit the venue. Unfortunately we lost a team member to an upset tummy but with all her bravery and goodness (I would rather have died) she let us enjoy the concert before holding herself together to drive us back down the road. The Coronas was the best I have ever seen them and the crowd was electric. Came home lyrical and singing for the rest of the week….. also between you and me secretly planning my marriage to one very handsome vocally capable man!!!!

BO**OCK HOLES & HANDSTANDS

Weekend 2 we upped the game to a 2 night ordeal!! This time not too far from home we took to a weekend in Kilkee and Marquee by the Sea.

Friday night was Keywest a band with quite an amount of sad songs… Heartbreak, Mistakes and Hurt! What a night….. after the concert, we hit the (not so age appropriate) night club and danced until they threw us out! Finished the late night with cheese, tapas and pear vodka….. Oh to be (not so) young and clever J

So Saturday morning saw some tender heads which required a drive to the cliffs in Kilkee for a blustery recovery walk. Here I certainly showed my not so clear head when I went to express to my friends that I had never in fact swam in the Bollock Holes in Kilkee and would love to try sometime…… I really did mean Pollock Holes….. One of the memories that comes with the weekend.

We also spoke, yet again, about how quickly we set up barriers and limitations on ourselves. Such as only a few months ago I was doing handstands in the office, now…. Ohhhh my stomach gets butterflies with the thought of it.

Saturday nights we got to see the amazing Riptide Movement. What a privilege to get to see them in such an intimate venue and what handsome lead singer…. The voice certainly aids too…..

The scariest part of the night was the bouncers ability to recognise and DEMONSTRATE what our behaviour had been like on the Friday night…. We went home early…..

Came back to real life on the Monday for four days of training delivery with no voice, tired eyes and a smile on my face!!!

THUMBS UP FOR TENTS!!!

The last music weekend…. Weekend 3. This one the scariest of them all!!! First ever time at a music festival, first time in a tent and certainly the first time in a long time (possibly ever) that I did the no sleep, lots of drink, lots of I’m not sure what to call it moves!!! Still not sure if it was a pleasant experience or a strange nightmare.

Myself and two ladies (well we were ladies leaving not so sure about when coming back) hit the road for Mitchelstown and the Indiependence Festival 2018 on Friday the 3^rdAugust!!

We arrived nice and early to the campsite where we were, thankfully, staying in the VIP area (Thank You). We successfully carried our slabs of beer (shouldered) in together with the tent, clothes and lots of other essentials (???) and pitched our tent. Nearly had an argument at this early part of the day due to the stress of tent erecting…..

From there on it all went to drink….. We are not sure whether to be proud or to be ashamed of our ability to cope with the weekend!! After no sleep the first night (for me, whilst others were snoring) and I mean NO SLEEP, NONE we all got up around 8am. Parked ourselves in our chairs at our camping table. Had an orange for breakfast, a mug of tea and a shower. Then at 11.14am we opened the days first can of beer!! Dinner was rice (the curry was too hot) and cider and from there on out you can only guess how it went!!

Saturday night my ability to risk assess camp sites in combination with no sleep, no drink and not sure what else, I managed to come away with an erect thumb!!! That thumb has still another 3 weeks of healing to do before the ligament damage is repaired. In my defence I was off duty……. Safety can’t always be first.

Travelling through the airport last week I saw a quote which I though very appropriate; I didn’t fall, the floor (ground) looked like it needed a hug!!!!

There was a favourite moment as part of hurting my hand…. As I was (at my tender age) talking to my mum about what happened and slightly upset one of our neighbouring campers walked past and offered to make me a sandwich to make me feel better….. and when I turned that down I got a lovely hug instead!!! The spirit of strangers!!!

Before leaving the topic of Indie18 I have to say that we had the most amazing neighbours!!! Steve and Lisa and your spicy balls and hoover, great to have met you!!!

On the Sunday we simply had to admit to enough being enough!! We did again, we didn’t go too far past 11 when we made the attempt to finish the cans of beer, watched the hurling game, walked the festival site and got our caricature painted before heading back home!! I’m still recovering and still eternally grateful for magic friends who coped with me when I barely did myself!!

Not to be forgotten the music was magical in between!!!!

AGAPE…….

Trying to keep this short isn’t really working!!! But here goes the last part of the blog….. Not going to go too serious on this occasion. I will save that for the next one (which is already written by the way!!) For now I want to continue talking about music.

Music is in many instances my rescue! Sometimes it acts as my hide away from reality, sometimes as my awakening to reality…. It can make me laugh, it can make me dance, it can bring back some amazing memories (the list here is endless), it can bring me strength and it can connect me with others as words has the ability to reach out……

It can also make others laugh either at you (when you are in the full swing of car pool karaoke with yourself and the radio) or with you when doing, one of my favourites, car sing song when on journeys with the kids and their friends. We all pick one song each and then all roar it out at the top of our lungs!!!

I love music, new, old, rock, pop, indie, opera, musicals…. All of it, with some genres more than others!

In this blog I want to share a song, that someone shared with me. Oh and this is a song you should listen to. https://youtu.be/q1MmYVcDyMs

There are a couple of reasons why I love this song;

• The total change of use and pronunciation of the word agape. (for me anyway). Who would have thought (without the help of google) that what it would associate with the highest form of love.
• What the lead singer says about the song, that it is looking at that continuous insecurity in a relationship….. and how to much many of those insecurities can lead to its demise….
• It is beautiful.

To finish, here are some of my favourite lyrics from the song;

Agape
Please don’t dissipate
I know that I’ve got it all wrong
I’m reaching out
To touch your voice
But baby I’m clutching at straws

Even though your words hurt the most
I still want to hear them
Every day

I don’t want to know who I am without you.

Would love to hear what special songs you have on your playlist! And of course, you will have to say why!

This week I spent an evening and night in the Abbey Court Hotel in Nenagh. Hopeful of a relaxing evening, after at long day at work, I headed down to the bar, took a corner table and ordered some smoked salmon on sourdough br

ead and a glass of Pinot… with my iBook opened for some proper girly reading I exhaled at the pure thought of the tranquility and then….. 

A knife (not to sharp) came flying at me. It was the English “gentleman” next to me who had accidentally dropped his knife approximately 2 metres! I was reassured by one of the three sirs not to worry, that were they come from what is thrown is normally way worse!!

From there the night took a turn and didn’t end up anywhere near the way it was intended to. 

When the waiter came over and asked if everything was ok I couldn’t help myself but to say that yes except that my neighbouring table was throwing knifes at me!! His face…. I requested spoons, plastic, for their pending dessert. 

That was not the end of it!! Next a bus tour (assumption) came out from a larger room and took to the piano and of course someone had a flute…. how could they not. Very musically talented but one major defect, they did not know the words to one single song so restored to na, na, na’s and la, la, la’s. 

I couldn’t help but laugh and this of course reignited the conversation with the “gentlemen” next to me!! 

Oi, you laughing at me? 

Eh, noooo 

You shouldn’t be i didn’t throw the knife at ya.

Ok…. good to know! 

I had to retire to the tranquility of the lobby to finish that Pinot!!! 

Life is full of surprises and unexpected events!!! They truly bring a smile to my face.  

Is it time to stop for a minute??? 

As you know I love living life in the fast lane but there are times when I know that even I’m pushing on to hard…… 

Thursday was one of those days. I went for a sandwich at lunchtime and as I was standing there in the cue tears came to my eyes….. the pot was simply boiling over and I hadn’t even stopped to think that I might be sad, overwhelmed or whatever that was…. 

That was followed by taking the wrong exit off a roundabout leaving me on the scenic route home! I did laugh (not cry) at this one but I certainly believe this means that I need to stop for a minute. 

When thinking about it a conversation I had with a friend sprung to mind and his two very wise sentiments; 

1. You can’t run from yourself for ever…. at some stage Malin will catch up with Malin…. 
2. We work in the area of educating others to wellbeing at work…. It’s time to put into practice our own advices. 

All I can say is that I’m like a bold child so I say yeah, yeah you grown up. What do you know? 

But although, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m generally quite good at recognising the warning signs, that my situations are going south, I might have failed in being 100% honest. I haven’t really admitted to you or to myself that I don’t always listen….. I don’t always stay on the straight and narrow to finding My Me… 

That is something that for me needs to become an essential part of my working progress…. it is too late when you are crying in the sandwich cue.

Mistakes 

In the spirit of the weekend just gone and listening to Keywest’s song All My Mistakes on Friday night I am going g to finish this blog post by talking about mistakes. Lucky for you not about all of them!!! 

Like with many other things in life I believe we should turn to look at things from a positive angle. The same goes for mistakes. 

I’m not referring to the concept of “learn from your mistakes” that’s not what this is about, albeit a valuable tool. This is about using the word mistake as a positive. 

Like the lyrics says;

“Of all my mistakes, your still my favourite one”. 

So have you ever made a mistake that has ended up turning into something really great?? I have, (not shy to admit it) made them lots of times!! 

There are of course some mistakes that are my favourites ones. They have made me who I am, brought people around me I wouldn’t have met without them, taught me more about who I am and when I think of some of them I smile, actually I even laugh out loud from time to time!!! 

Have you a favourite mistake you would share?? I would love to hear all about it!

Now as Sunday afternoon is here, it is time to do some of the work preparations for the week ahead and of course cuddle with my amazing three amigos!! Have a great week!!

It is all about the B’s this week and I’ll explain why in just a minute. One of the positive aspects in my life is the truly great friends that I have and as part of my, My Me, journey I decided to bring some of them together to share a prize I had won as part of the #blueway promotion around Lough Derg.

So on Thursday last week 6 of us set off on a girlie weekend that turned out to be one of those absolutely fabulous ones! One we still, a week later, have not stopped talking about. Instead we are planning the next one!!

Here is a short story of what we got up to that lead to this excellent blog title!!

Half of us travelled together on Thursday morning to commence picking up the shopping an route as well as of course getting some much needed refreshments on the way!

Arriving to the cottage we were staying in I had arranged for massage therapy for all of us which thanks to the great weather we were able to have outdoors. What a way to start a girls weekend. Wind blowing through the trees, birds singing and the sun heating the skin.

So on full relax we dug into the wine, pear vodka and giggles around the garden table.

Around midnight we thought it wise to go for a stroll to see if we could find the view of the lake…… in the dark. After a short distance we came across this strange noise….. which we determined must be some kind of bird. Whereas I thought it might be the Banshee…. It was a seriously scary sound but the Banshee comment was met with a solid right hook into the back so that left that conversation to the side and we went about to YouTube the sound to realise it was (we think) owls!! PS we couldn’t see the lake…..

The Midnight Stroll

We then went back around the table where the birds where still causing havoc by flying around us. Here the first “friendly argument” of the journey began as some, maybe with more alcohol than others, thought that they were bats. Well if they were bats…. I believe it to have been batman and his sons, the size of them!! Got this one proven the following night.

So in true girly spirit the main topic of conversation around the table was, for some unknown reason, boobs…… Like a true feminist party (well maybe just in the spirit of a girlie night) we discussed shapes, sizes, lifts, reductions, breastfeeding, rights and wrongs and, whether we wanted them to be mentioned or not, all 6 pairs received feedback!! This is so brilliant, especially to the 6 of us that were there, that I couldn’t help but share.

So by now you may, or may not be, wondering how ballsacks came into the conversation? Well firstly I have to say it’s quite impressive that this was the only mention men got over the weekend………. Well there was one more piece, one that educated me greatly, but that I certainly can’t share in any public domain. We simply just wondered would it be possible that a gang of men would be sitting somewhere, around a garden table, discussing their ballsacks like we were discussing our boobs!!

In the morning we were all slightly tired and some of us so because of the birds, doves to be precise, that had not stopped cooing outside our windows. Talk about being one with nature, involuntarily.

On the Friday we started with breakfast in the garden, followed by an amazing 2 hour kayak trip with Becky and Jacob of Lough Derg Water Sports. What an adventure and so much fun.

Great to see friends with a ferocious fear of water take part in this, albeit like Miss Daisies!!!

From here we went for some good food in Terryglass and of course liquid top up before heading for one last swim. That evening back at the house we lit up the barbecue, played pie face and twister, laughed until it hurt, got to use self-timer on my camera and of course finished off the conversation about birds, bats, Banshees, boobs and ballsacks!!

So this blog post is certainly dedicated to this great gang and I send a massive thank you to all of you for making the weekend one to remember for evermore!! “Girl Power”.

ELIMINATING MY FEAR

On a more serious note, in my last blog post I spoke about being able to remove items from our life that creates negative emotion for us. I have been thinking about that since I wrote it and continued to filter through my list of positives and negatives. What I noticed was that not only do we have to remove (metaphorically and physically J) the negatives but we might also have to reintroduce or physically push back in the positives.

This can be easier said than done because one single word may be the one thing that holds us back. The word I am referring to is FEAR….. The fear of asking for what we want and being rejected, the fear of failure, the fear of the one thing that stands before what we want….fear, fear and more fear.

I recently listened to a TED talk delivered by Andrew Sharman on how we can really face our fears for the greater love of something else. He talks about his love of sharks yet immense fear of water. It is worth a listen. https://youtu.be/B7-DQFvD5ck

One of my greatest fears, outside of spiders, snakes and heights, is to not have control. To call it for what it is….. I am a control freak. Therefore I don’t do very well with the unknown, and I don’t mean how earth was created or anything like that, but the more general day to day things. This fear leads me to over analyse and to harass my friends and family with my anxieties (and I mean harass – over and over again) and it was, partly if not wholly, this fear of the unknown that caused my “crash” last year.

However, I recently realised that I can control this fear in one very simple measure. By stepping up to asking the question that will give me clarity and eliminate the fear. Because even if the answer may not be the one I hope for, at least I am in the know and in the know I have control. So I think it is worth to take with you this quote “Clarity of the unknown is only a question away”.

Last week when I consulted (harassed) my mother on being brave and letting go of my fear she wisely shared the following message, “Do what your heart tells you to do. We only live once, so let go of your fears”. She is quite impressive that mother of mine.

So as we don’t have nine lives like cats…. Then let’s use the one we do have as best we can! Push, force, demand those positives into yours.

Where has the time gone to?? High time for another blog as well as getting back to writing that book of mine!!

As we are nearing the half way line of 2018 I have started to ponder on how this year has been so far and what journey’s it has brought me on. To summarise I think this year has been pretty cool so far. So many new experiences, learnings and developments. So much more finding of ME!!

This blog will talk a bit about weeding but as I am all for a positive spin I will talk about weeding through two of my favourite things (to quote Sound of Music) Daisy’s and Cheese. Now these two objects may not be in my top ten, just to clarify. Oh wait, cheese might just make it!!

WILL I, WONT I?

One of my favourite flowers is the daisy – the big daisy! Firstly they remind me of summer in Sweden, daisies, poppies and blåklint all together in one big summery field.

Secondly they remind me of midsummers eve and the tradition to pick a bouquet of 7 different types of flowers and put them under my pillow to dream about my prince charming. There is something about climbing stone walls in this tradition too, but I removed that element.

But most importantly they remind me of the fact that there is always hope and most certainly where there is a will there is a way!

When younger I used the daisies to figure out if I was going to win over the boy I thought was cute – loves me, loves me not, loves me…..

These days when I pick one up I use it in a slightly different manner. I use it to guide me in some decisions that are important to me by using each individual leaf for will I, wont I, will I won’t I…. the beauty of this game is that if you are not too superstitious then you can just pick another to get your desired result!!!

SWIZZ CHEESE THEORY ON LIFE

Last week I attended a training course on Behaviour Based Safety for Leaders, one which I had completed the online version of earlier this year.

One of the components of the course was a look into the Swizz Cheese Theory. In summary this theory looks at how a perfect storm can be created if enough of human errors occur to align all the holes in the cheese slices or blocks. If they do….then we have an accident.

So one of the big questions here is how we can prevent that accident or incident and in the swiss cheese theory it encourages us to continuous identify the holes and to when we find them fill them in. Working our way towards a block of cheddar cheese in other words.

When listening to this theory I thought how I had kind of, in a way, applied this theory when trying to find My Me and how I am still trying to apply it to prevent the perfect storm from occurring in my life. To prevent me from falling apart, from breaking, from being partially broken…..

Here is how I have applied it. Over the last 12 months I have identified some of the holes in my cheese. Not using them as human errors but instead as the elements in my life that have negative impact on me, whether instantly or long term.

So when I identify those things that causes negative emotions in me, let it be a person, a situation or a habit, I now know that I am faced with a choice. A choice over which I have full control. I can fill the hole, remove that negative emotion and prevent that perfect storm from occurring.

What is the result?? More time spent on creating My Me. Happy, content, wild and full of giggles once more.

So go out there and clear those cobwebs…. (i.e. fill those holes in the cheese)!!

This tribute comes as today is a very important day here in Ireland and in particular important for the rights of Irish women. Voting stations are today open across the country to make a decision whether to repeal or maintain the 8^th Amendment. Whether to give women a choice.

I don’t have a vote, being Swedish, but I do have an opinion. However, this blog post is not about my opinion on the 8^th Amendment it is about the women in my life who has choice. Women that are my family, that are my friends that are my work colleagues that are my motivators, my comforters and my life lines. Women that I admire, respect and love.

The hardest part when doing this is the fear of forgetting someone….. so early apologies but I may have to edit or make additions to this post.

Here you are…….

MY FAMILY

• Mamma – This one….. she is the one who has taught me to have my own opinion, to stand tall, to care about myself and others and most importantly she has thought me what love really is. I talk to my mum every day…… about everything, simply because I can. She is my everything and one thing is for sure, I would be lost without her.
• Emma – My eldest daughter, my first born. This girl slowly becoming a young woman…. I get teary eyed when thinking about who she has become. I am so proud of her and all her crazy ways and exceptional achievements. She is funny, smart (much smarter than me, like nerd smart) and truly wonderful.
• Isabella – My second daughter and the middle child in my house. I think you would find it hard to find a little girl with a kinder heart and soul. Always looking out for everyone, no matter what age, race or personality. She has this most amazing little dimple when she smiles which is a real testament to her character.
• Auntie Gittan – This lady has a special place in my heart. Similar to my dad in many ways she has over the years, of my adult life in particular, become a relation that has come closer and closer. She is patient, kind and full of sound advice. (Not to forget she loves cheese just the way I do)!!!
• The Mother In Law – A rocky week is all we had and once that week had passed we have got on like a house on fire. My mother in law Imelda is not just a rock for me but a solid one for my kids.

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MY FRIENDS

• Lorraine – I was only in Ireland for two weeks when this girl was introduced to me due to our personality similarities. (We are both stone mad J)!!! Later that night she aided me to find my way home and we have stuck together since. Through weddings, funerals, babies, boyfriends, weight loss and weight gain, holidays, illness and injuries, great nights out and so many more things. Our story is nearly 18 years old and nowhere near finished! Love this girl to bits.
• Emma – My childhood bestie and oh the memories. We have them all. Pen pals from a young age we developed a friendship that was meant to last. Mention Roy Orbinson, Brown Eyed Girl, mention Madison, mention the first kiss….. mention graduation, mention walking and cycling places we shouldn’t – Emma you will know what I mean by each one of them.
• Miriam – On my very first day in UCC I sat down next to this one! The only two women from Clare in the room saw us create a connection which lasted well beyond our two years in college. We have since we got to know each other shared many special moments, had some serious laughs (the giggle box) and we have an amazing journey ahead of us, that I am sure of. Miriam is one of these who puts all others before herself….full of care and kindness.
• Edel – Some woman for one woman! As we are alike in so many ways, especially with regards to the not sitting still part it was evident that when this lady came in to my life there was no turning back. Since we became friends we have been on some amazing adventures and there a more to come. Edel truly has a solid (yet opinionated) gold heart and she will know you are not the best you can be before you even know it yourself.
• Christina – This lady has recently entered my life for a second time!! That is a sign to hold onto. Full of strength, an amazing mum and with totally mad dance moves. We have been on some super adventures in the last year and a bit and she is one of the people responsible for making my blog a thing, writing a book a thing and watch out when the summer comes. We are going to make the world a little bit more unsteady because this lady has an ability to push you beyond your comfort zone!
• The Swedish Mafia – Friends are friends forever no matter what and in Sweden I have a serious bunch of ladies. I don’t get to see them as often as I would like but we know we have each other’s backs if needed. Marina, Zeina, Maiken, Anna, Maria(s), Magda…….

MY FRIENDS THROUGH WORK

Chose to put this category slightly separately as they have a link in that they started out as work colleagues developing into friends.

• Carmel – Sometimes I think she is my shoulder to cry on, to guide me straight in business and life and certainly a lady I don’t run out of conversation with. A magic soul and one I am so lucky to have ran into.
• Maria – What a lady!! Straight talking and strong yet so selfless and generous she is a force to be reckoned with. With this lady I can lose my inhibitions (most of them anyhow) and express even my less impressive thoughts. We all need one of those…..
• Theresa – I always think of the first time I met this lady in business. Gosh I did not think she was very nice….. Because she questioned me, she pushed me, she did not take my excuses….. Today all those traits is what makes her a really and truly great friend who I know will look out for me and get me thinking thoroughly about my options and most importantly my values.
• Sinead – Another one of those that makes me smile! She is gentle and fierce all in the one go!! Humble yet amazing and one of my favourite things about her is her honesty. She is not afraid to share her truth which means she allows you to listen and she will listen back when you need to share yours.

One more woman on the list that deserves a mention is ME….. I am also a woman with an opinion and with choice.

In recent weeks I purchased a new t-shirt which I am waiting to wear for that very RIGHT moment!!! It has a poem on it by the wonderful Janne Robinson titled “This Is For The Women Who Don’t Give a Fuck”!!

https://www.jannerobinson.com/pages/this-is-for-the-women-who-don-t-give-a-fuck

To my Irish friends I hope you use your opinion today and show that you are one of the women who do give a….

Have a great weekend.

PS. I promise there will be a tribute to the men in my life at some stage too!!

It is time to bring the blog back to last year and those life alterations that occurred to bring me to today!

When starting the blog and writing about last year my intent was to share some of the moments of 2017. When you actually start writing you realise how many of those moments there actually are within 12 months. All of which are added to the things that creates the map of your life journey.

ORANGE SIZED OBJECTS

About three years ago I was at my school reunion in Sweden. Coming home to my mums house that night I started feeling unwell. At first I thought it may be the wine, then the food…… and then I got scared. I was in so much agony on the left hand side of my stomach that I could no longer breathe properly.

Next thing the ambulance brought me to hospital with mum staying behind with my two smaller kids. I was back out the following morning with subdued pain and exhaustion, but no real explanation as to what had just happened.

It took another six episodes, or more, before my GP said “you are never sick, yet you keep coming back with these pains”……. In May of last year an ultrasound identified an ovarian cyst the size of an orange. One that turned out to have twisted on itself three times.

Scheduled for surgery the cyst decided to throw me off course one last time and literally the week before the scheduled procedure I had to go for a two night stay in Limerick’s University Hospital, left feeling slightly beaten.

However on the 17^th November last year I had my left ovary and the cyst removed in St John’s Hospital in Limerick and I haven’t looked back since.

LIFE HANGOVERS

Life is full of hangovers it seems and I don’t mean just the kind you would get from alcohol intake.

I believe that there are a thousand and one adaptations, not including any form of intoxicant, which has the exact same effect, as that of alcohol, on our mind and bodies alike.

In recent times I have noticed this effect more than ever before, hence I’m writing about it. I have in particular paid attention to two clear symptoms, similar to that of the hangover;

1. Withdrawal symptoms
2. Emotional turmoil

To give you some concrete examples.

The first one relates to having taken up this running malarkey!! I was never a runner so one wouldn’t expect it to become or have the effects of an intoxicant. But it has and this is where I can clearly relate to the withdrawal symptoms. When I don’t get to go out for one of my runs I get irritable, critical of both myself and (oops) others and it can even go so far as me considering some self-sabotage – becoming a couch potato. This has led to those around me knowing that I need to be given the time to get some running done!!!

The second example relates to something totally different. During my journey to finding my me I have put myself in situations which has brought out a part of me that I didn’t think was me. Not sure if this makes sense to others……?

It has been more than just going outside of my comfort zone. It has been breaking my own rules and principles. Breaking the rules I think others have placed on me….. the expectations others have of my behaviour.

What I am describing is simply being BOLD!!!! Well at least I think I have been!!

An example of  this little would be something as simple as putting myself and something I want to do before my kids or sharing my opinion with oompf!!

Oh and when I do I feel highly intoxicated….. positively drunk.

However when I wake up the day after, I suffer that hangover! Depending on the level of boldness the grade of hangover varies. But it does leave me in emotional turmoil, where I have to battle with the rollercoaster of classic day after feelings such as what did I do, who am I, is this really me or was it a moment of weakness….. I shouldn’t have drank that much…..

In essence the instigator of the hangover has, at first, an intoxicating effect and lets me enter a state of euphoria. When the cold light of day shines on it….. doubt creeps in and I am hungover.

Maybe these intoxicants are not bad influence and when I finally break those rules am I really finding MY ME? A me slightly different from the one that I have known, from the one I was.

This brings me to think of the song lyrics of the amazing Mandy Harvey;

“Cause I know the only thing in my way – is me”

EUROVISION 

Even writing the work Eurovision puts a smile on my face and I hear the theme tune in my head! I love great music…… and at the very same time I love the Eurovision Song Contest.

For me it is about childhood memories where we used to, as a family, religiously watch the show every year. In Sweden we would (still do) make a big deal of selecting our song for the competition and I think nearly the full Swedish population would be watching it in anticipation.

Mum used to make prawn sandwiches, very fancy ones, and my parents would have wine and me and my brothers would get fizzy drinks and sweets.

For the last few years I am recreating these memories with my two daughters. So last night we ate a tasty dinner in front of the TV, then put out an excessive spread of sweets and treats before we glued ourselves to the couch to watch the show.

During the show we danced, laughed, sang and then danced some more!!! All this whilst supporting both Sweden and Ireland to win!

I probably shouldn’t say this out loud but I have documented on my bucket list that I will someday get to go to the live shows!!

The day after my last blog post I was chatting to my son about Roald Dahl and as we were getting some needed facts about him I came across this quote;

How perfectly does that match my thoughts around the tap analogy and how perfectly does that match me!! I know my passions can drive those around me mad, because Im not good at sticking with the one plan, the one thing, the one place…… I always believe that there is more just around the corner and that it is worth looking for.

Today has been one of these great Sundays which makes me feel ready for the week ahead. I got up at 7am, got a wash on, clothes folded and put away, the bathroom cleaned, bed made and breakfast ate! Then, just before 10am I set off on a long run. And it was more than lukewarm as I finished 16.83kms. This closely followed by a 5kms walk / jog in our local community.

After a grand total of 22kms I hurt, a lot, but I do feel ready to take on the world….. or at least the week ahead.

So now as I finish watching a girly movie on the couch and before getting some strategic planning for May started I want to tell you something.

Go out there and get hot and bothered about things, places and people you are passionate about!! Have a great May, summer is nearly here. 

I am going to start out this blog talking about a more sombre topic and then I will lead in to some much more Malin related material which I happened upon in conversations this week.

The topic I want to start out on is my take on what I deem to be the “Social Media Poker Face”! Many of us share our stories through a wide range of social media platforms. I am no different and quite enjoy the interaction and the look into other people’s experiences whether every day or exceptional, extraordinary moments.

For me, I was always a “people watcher” (not a stalker…..) and I believe Social Media is todays version of people watching and this is why I enjoy it, most of the time.

However, I also believe that we can through social media truly hide our real life stories behind our poker face. Because let’s face it (no pun intended) not too many of us post pictures or stories about arguments we have, financial struggles we are going through, sadness, exhaustion, depression, loneliness…… and the list goes on. Most of us post happy selfies when the sun shines as we embark on what looks like the journey of a life time.

What we need to remember in all of this is that this is now how the outside world perceives us and even those close to us might struggle to believe that the “real world you” does not feel that good…… Especially if you have an exceptionally good Poker Face.

Just a thought.

The Tap Analogy

My job brings me many places and allows me to meet a lot of people from various walks of life. This is one of the things I enjoy most about my job. (Now I definitely sound like a stalker). When meeting them I take in the things that seem to happen around them, the little things about their personalities and what they say.

This week I had two such conversations that has stayed with me!!

Analogies have always fascinated me and people’s ability to make them up! I am no good at putting them together nor will I ever be!! I might be creative and quick thinking but not for those kind of things. I just complicate them.

But this week I was told one from a work colleague which I thoroughly enjoyed;

We assess risk on a daily basis and this analogy related to that in reference to a tap, yes a water tap. Bear with me here because I probably cant even share it without complicating it;

“If you run the hot tap for too long you will get scalded. Therefore you need to ensure to turn it off from time to time to allow it to cool. Of course you cannot leave it off for too long or you will notice that the water has become freezing cold.  Therefore regular flushing of your taps are advise to ensure that they are continuously lukewarm and as such continuously safe.”

Note that this is an analogy and not a direct safety conversation about taps!!!

What makes it such a great analogy is its ability to fit into so many areas of our lives. Look at friendships, family and that social media poker face. Keep them all lukewarm??!!!

I think, me personally, would be tempted to get burnt every so often!! That’s my wild spirit.

Face Yoga – We Should All Do It

When working on some strategic planning this week myself and a colleague landed, at this stage I don’t remember how, so please don’t ask, on the topic of Face Yoga and one of the core exercises of same being blowing 100 air kisses per day!!!

I would recommend you all to go onto YouTube and search for videos on Face Yoga and then watch and learn the series of exercises you can complete to define your jawline, reduce runners face (yes there is such a thing, which is worrying when you are training for a marathon) and improve any double chins or chicken necks.

So I do believe we should all do it but not for the reason you might think! Sure it will probably have all the benefits we are told about in the tutorials (yes I did check them out) but the absolute best benefit is the laughing!!

Laughing has been proven to;

1. Decrease stress hormones
2. Increase immune cells and as such fight illness
3. Release endorphins which can act as pain relief
4. Give good abs and put our wrinkles in the right places (not so sure about the last one)
5. Make us feel good and increase our confidence
6. Burn calories
7. Connects us with others

On another note, the last one in this fantastic list reminds me of a recent complaint I had when delivering training. Yes complaint, but one I think I can handle. For those of you who don’t know I work in the area of Safety, Health & Wellbeing as an advisor and trainer. So when delivering a 4 day training programme in this topic it was brought to my attention that we had received complaints that we were laughing too much and that we as such were too loud. Never in my career have I been complained for laughing too much and in particular not during a safety course. Who would have thought.

Now of course I also make sure to do Face Yoga everyday while driving my car to work!! Trust me, you nearly break into a sweat!!! 😁 😘

Right about now my youngest turns 10 years of age. Philip Daniel Kelly is officially in his double digits and as a mum I cannot help but to be a little bit melancholic realising how quickly my children are growing up…….

However it also lets me bring back so many memories of this little mites journey in becoming the little handsome boy he is today.

There are two stories in particular that just makes this guy that extra bit special.

How the name got picked!!

My dad passed away less than two months before Philip’s birth.

During one of my last times seeing my dad the name Philip was chosen and this is how. As I was about to leave Sweden and head back to Ireland my dad was resting on the bed. He was quite weak at this time. He was talking about how he wished I could stay until it was all over. He tried to cover up what he had said by saying he meant until I had had the baby but I knew that he really meant until such time as the cancer had beaten him………..

Ok I am back…. This is hard to even write about so a few tissues needed.

As I had given my dad a hug he put his hand on my belly and said…… Philip.

As you can imagine that meant game over when it came to picking a name.

He could have been called Radisson……

The second story, even more dramatic than the first, was how he arrived into this world.

So about exactly now, 10 years ago, our Mazda made it as far as the gates of the Radisson SAS in Limerick leaving us slightly short of reaching County Limerick.

My first contraction had come at 5.22am at which time I got up and started pulling together my packing, having a shower and pottering about before wakening Joe to get him to go milking before we headed to maternity.

With my two girls I had a long time to get organised and ready so I was in no hurry…… Should have know better when I by 7.30 was on all fours in our sitting room not managing to keep up straight with the contraction.

However still content we set off for Limerick shortly after that and even made a pit stop at the petrol station in Darragh where Joe could get himself a breakfast roll. He did ask if I wanted one too but I felt full enough and I was having a chat with my mum at the time.

Going around the roundabout in Ennis I remember hearing a story on the radio about this man who had just delivered his baby at the side of the road, somewhere in Wexford if I remember correctly. I was laughing at this fact……. But not for long.

In around the Newmarket on Fergus sign, for those of you not familiar with County Clare roads this is about 8 minutes later, I turned to Joe and said “We are not going to make it”.

Like a true Irish man he rang…… his mother to tell her to call he Gardai to escort us. He hung up and followed this by ringing her straight back saying “forget about the Gardai, ring the ambulance”.

That was that…… the morning dew was still settling over the fields and trees when Philip was delivered in the front seat of the car at the entrance gates to the Radisson SAS.

It was only once we heard his lungs open that slight panic set in trying to figure out what to do next….. oh and when we realised we actually had a Philip in our hands. Because it is also worthy to add to the story that we didn’t know we were having a boy…… only my dad knew that.

A true test to superstition!

Happy Birthday Philip!

Last Saturday, a week ago today, was my 14,119th time wakening up!! I had never, during any of my previous 14,118 times of wakening up decided to eat and digest a banana and then put on my runners to head out for a morning run.

With a new playlist on Spotify, conveniently christened Running, I set out on ensuring that I could run more than 10kms. During the week, when I did a lunch time run in UL, I had just about mustered it and was getting slightly nervous about the upcoming Marathon, albeit there are 6 months to go.

You can guess that I was very pleased when I finished my run at 15.69kms in 1 hour 46 minutes 38 seconds. That is the longest I have ever ran…… and it felt like an amazing milestone and achievement because I am not a runner.

The best part….. I wasn’t even that sore and went to the beach later that evening for a sandy walk in the sunset.

Soccer Mom

When I ran into that block wall last year, I hid away from some many things. One which was my family, my kids.

This is a regret, although a necessity during this time, that I can only really move forward from. I also believe that it is important to be honest and open about it. Don’t think I am the only one who had to do something like that for survival.

So now as I progress to finding happiness I have taken to ensuring that I play a more active part in the life of my three really wonderful little creations!!

My son thought it was enough that I attended one soccer match to call me Soccer Mom as well as thinking that I needed to stop singing and dancing because that was simply embarrassing. Even a few minutes ago he told me stop bopping with the glow sticks “mam there are people in the house”.

As for my middle lady, nearing 12, she is now at that stage where she doesn’t know if she is a little girl or a teenager. She is one of the kindest spirits I know and will always look after those around her. Bella and myself get on in so many ways and in particular when we dance!! She is not embarrassed. The other night we got to do some dance moves as exercise which had us both sweating!!

And then there is Emma, nearly and adult at 16.5 years…… With her I cannot keep up but we do have some great fun and when she stops growing out of the house for a few minutes we spend some amazing moments laughing, dancing, singing and looking at fashion. This week she even acted photographer taking some decent pictures of her mother. One of my favourites is after a long day at work to be able to throw myself on her bed where we chat about the day or look at some funny snaps!!

I feel I can make up for what I missed last year during all these moments…..

Now, time to feed the army of boys that have landed for the birthday bash! Have a great Saturday.

No chocolate…… 

I am really like a big child, which leaves me contrary after the Easter Weekend. This year I didn’t get a single Easter Egg….. nor any other Easter gift.

So I am off the chocolate and had expressed clearly to family and friends not to get me any as I am working to reach Goal 8 before my last birthday in my 30’s! But nothing….. now that requires revenge planning I think!!! Bring on Easter 2019…..

I did however get to to back to hike to the top of Clare this weekend. This time with two great ladies; Lorraine and Edel. We went early (I mean early, thanks Edel) but got to the top with the skies still clear and sunny! It was great to share this special place with some of the special people in my life. We followed this up by lunch in The Piper Inn (YUM) and a quick stop at Wild Irish Chocolates in Tuamgraney where I bought some gorgeous fudge and some chocolate. White of course, that would be my favourite.

That is just a little bit of writing about chocolate…..

The Thumb Tack Theory!!!

So you know by now that I use my own techniques to ensure I maintain motivation to reach all those simple goals of mine.

For my goal to lose weight, I have used a simple visual to keep me motivated. I have a little notice board which looks like a cloud. That I use to symbolise or visualise my dreams…. One at the time of course. It is a little one.

So I have two sets of thumb tacks; one set resembling the weight loss journey I have to achieve in pounds and the other in kilos. Every Wednesday when weigh in occurs any loss (or gain) gets taken off the board.

It is absolutely great to see the numbers shrink and the target nearing.

So that is the Thumb Tack Theory, which I think is a great name by the way!!

Multitasking

I will have to do some bragging!!! Oh well, no, not bragging, simply sharing a proud moment.

This weekend I completed a course in Behavioural Safety Leadership. I will have to say that I found the course super interesting and relevant to both my work and for myself. Excellent content and topics which I want to learn more about.

So the bragging is about the fact that I completed the course and achieved 95% as final score and 97.5% in my final exam!! Learning can be so much fun!!!

Doing this course over  a number of weeks required discipline, focus and multitasking. End result – moving one step in the right direction of Goal 2.

Increasing my reading average!

To finish this blog post I wanted to share a quote which I came across.

I am currently reading a book. Yes you heard me right, I am trying to increase my average per year to start with, then I will move on to be the CEO that reads one per week. The book I am reading is Matthew Syed’s, Black Box Thinking, an excellent read.

In it, I came across a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

This quote really hit home with me as we are continuously taught to learn from our own mistakes. Altough that may be true and we do need to make some of our own too, it is worth learning from other peoples mistakes. So thank you Eleanor for those wise words.

Before talking about my odd body “features” let me tell you a few stories from my past week.

NOT THE BEST PATIENT

Anyone who has been around me when sick or injured knows that I am not the best patient. As my tattoo says I prefer to be “living life in the fast lane” not being bound to the bed or couch by ailments. This last week I had one of each. That is one injury and one illness.

As you might know I am training to run a marathon in October and last Sunday I went out and conquered my first 10km run and in just 1 hour and 2 minutes. Immensely proud of this achievement. However, at around 2kms I felt my back very sore, an existing injury which flares up from time to time. The pain intensified so much so I had to stop two or three times to stretch but I was determined (right down stubborn) to finish my 10kms. That didn’t end to well and I have lost out on a full week of training as a result…..

To top it off I got the FLU….. hot, cold, hot, cold, aches, tiredness and all the rest that goes with it. Lemsips, cold and flu tablets, tea and hot water bottles and some TLC was thankfully all that was needed and it only lasted a few days….. so although I missed most of the spring sun this weekend I ended up being able to go for a 6km run with my sons company earlier this afternoon!!!

So moaning done I am now back in fighting form.

CONTINOUS LEARNING

Many motivational experts encourages that to grow and be successful we need to be continuously learning. Of course this is simple;

• Do a masters
• Do a course
• Network with experts
• Watch documentaries or TED Talks
• Read
• Read
• And read some more

In fact I read an article the other day, (there is some irony in the fact that I read it) which outlined that the average person reads 4 books per year whereas a CEO or successful leader reads 4 books a month. That is one book per week. One book per week.

This fact nearly made me cry when I think of my goal to be a successful leader…. Where in my week will I fit reading a full book? Every single week. A book about a business related topic, to top it off. I don’t think my current read of Sheila O’Flanagan’s, What Happened That Night or the one before that Mark Johnson’s, Den Enkla Sanningen would count….

I love learning and do believe I learn every day without having to follow all these thousands of “simple rules” that are listed for us to make sure we are successful. I learn from people, from other industry colleagues, from networking, from doing courses, from reading, from my family, from my personal self and in a thousand more ways. And I am not willing to give even one of them up in order to follow one rule to be successful. I believe I need to find my own way.

Finger crossed I won’t be proven wrong.

ODD ARSE CHEEKS, BLACK EYES & WRINKLES

Yes, those are all descriptions of me by none less than my amazing children….. Whom I of course love dearly not matter what they say! Especially when they say it with a grin on the faces and twinkle in their eyes. After all that is my own sense of humour ingrained in them.

Sitting at the dinner table during the week my son says “Mam, what is that in your forehead”. I take my hand to my forehead and try to remove this “thing” he has spotted. “Where”, I say? “Oh, never mind it’s a wrinkle!”…………………. Now this is the same child who is adamant to, every time we are in public, announce that I am 40, which I am not…. Not even close. (1.5 years left – loads of time).

This was swiftly followed by my middle child aiding me with a spring clean of the wardrobe!! Putting on a rather pink dress, she erupts laughing, “Mammy, your bum looks so funny in that dress”. Well that dress went to the recycling bin. Odd arse cheeks….. of all the things I had to worry about.

by my daughter. She adamantly placed half a stick of concealer under my eyes, saying “Genie, I’m not sure even this will make your eyes less dark underneath…….

All while I was reading my book, working on my 3 month strategy, training for a marathon, cooking the dinner, doing the washing, educating myself with an online course, reading a safety report and losing an hour because of “Spring Time”……. Once again, if you want success, it’s SIMPLE!!!! Just go for it!!

Have a great last week of March everyone. Easter Bunny is just around the corner.

St Patrick’s Day is here and it is one of the few days in the year where I truly remember that I am Swedish. Although I celebrate with my family and friends this Leprechaun coloured day I still live it like the tourist I think I will always be here in Ireland.

On the 11^th September in 2000 I came to the green isle with a great vision to get myself working as a translator in the UN. English was the first language to master. Only the other day when talking to a young man at work he stated “Oh, I would have never guessed you were Swedish. Your English is far too incorrect for that”. That was a refreshing way to look at it…….. mostly I get the more polite version. “You sound more Irish than the Irish themselves”.

The photos underneath were taken the day I left for Ireland, nearly 18 years ago….. Look at the state of the hat….. but when seeing the hairdo….. maybe the hat is better.

So today I ventured to Kilrush with my middle daughter to check out the parade, which lasted the whole of 10 minutes. Lucky enough because the breeze had quite the bite.

We are now cuddling up with a three course meal, candles and wine of course.

So I think I will need to add something to that first goal list I outlined in my very first blog post. I want to be a real tourist and go to the Dublin parade wearing a silly hat, even sillier than the picture, and a pair of those leprechaun shoes that the man on the Swedish train was so adamant that us leprechauns have.

To all my Irish friends and family. Happy St Patrick’s Day!!!

TERM-ON-FECKIN…..

I have to write about another part of this week gone by. Term-on-Feckin. What more would a blog title need?! On Wednesday afternoon after the work was done, most of it anyway I took to the car with my Spotify playlist and aimed for County Louth and the picturesque village of Termonfeckin.

Nearly 7 years ago, right in the middle of setting up my own business, I got a message on LinkedIn with a subsequent phone call from a Mr. Niall Edwards. He contacted me to see if I would be interested in supporting himself and his business partner (better known as the boss) (but don’t tell Niall that), Carmel McCarthy, in the delivery of some training.

We met that summer in Annacotty and have not looked back since.

I strongly believe that you need to make friends for the different parts of you. So in finding My Me, Niall and Carmel have become friends in business. Well in saying that I think we surpassed being just work friends a good few years ago.

When I knew the barrier was broke is when I after a work function suffered the worst hangover of my adult life…. In Termonfeckin. That is a long way from home and my own bed but I was well minded and left that evening, instead of morning, to get back to Clare.

So this week myself and the boss had some work to get done and as always that begins with a great catch up. So over wine, dinner and a tiny piece of chocolate and some more wine we debated and discussed everything from business, relationships, children and some more business. This woman, Carmel, is one of lives mightiest. She has an impeccable sense of humour, a warmth that is contagious and an honesty that is refreshing.

So time well spent.

Well what else can i blog about today but mothers and Mother’s Day!!

Today is not Mother’s Day in Sweden so it gives me the opportunity to say it twice in one year ‘Mamma, jag älskar dig’.

My mother has given me so many of my strengths, quirky little ways and I can at my age say it loud…. I’ve turned into her in so many ways.

So to name a few similarities;

1. My small feet
2. My contagious laugh
3. My shortness
4. My love of baking
5. Great hugger, albeit not as frequently as my mum
6. My social cravings
7. My slightly topsy turvey mood 8. My trust in kindness 9. The “gut” instinct

Then there are a few I have not taken up on;

1. Cleaning regime….. nope still allergic to the carpet beater, Ajax and building all the Lego to make sure no pieces are missing.
2. Ironing – my mum, used to (important piece), iron even socks and nickers….. one of my least favourite household things to do. Even the thought of it makes me shudder.
3. Fixing my hairdo…
4. Oh oh can’t think of any more……

According to my mum I’m also more prude then her….. after all she is my mum.

The main thing about her is that she is my best friend!! She loves me unconditionally and I her.

I say it everyday not just twice a year… she knows

A MOTHERS GUT INSTINCT

Before I was a mum myself I could not for the life of me figure out how my mother new everything. Even all the things I didn’t tell her or the things she couldn’t count up (such as a robbed cinnamon bun). But she always knew….. if I was sad, if I had met someone, if I was lying….. she just knew.

Now a mum of three wonderful brats I have that same instinct. I just know….. and it’s the little things that give it away.

So I’ve caught them raiding the sweet press, wearing clothes they shouldn’t under the hoodie, telling little fibbles and pretending to be sick!! I’ve also caught their sadness, worries and stressors as well as having shared their winnings and smiles.

So I tell my kids daily that a mother knows everything so tell me before I ask!!!

AM I A GOOD MOTHER

As a mother I think we always question if we are good enough. It really is a big task and responsibility to guide these little people on their journey.

Do we give them enough discipline, love time and attention??? Do we spend too much time at work, are we too selfish with our time are we fun enough.

The questions and doubts are endless. But I think a day like today really demonstrates how we are processing.

Today I got a handmade card from my 11 year old daughter…. one that really showed me how she sees me. It also shows the impact spellcheck has on kids!!

To all mothers out there…. happy Mother’s Day. Hope your all spoilt rotten.

The MidLife Crisis Continues………???

Maybe she was right in saying that I was suffering a midlife crisis… I am definitely not the best at trying to prove the opposite at the minute; probably not even trying.

As I have, over the last few weeks, made some major moves on my goals, I believe I might be looking slightly mad (those of you who know me, you already know I am), which I am totally cool with!!!!

So here are two of the things I have been up to in order to get back to the famous goal list and my mission to find my ME;

1. I have stopped eating skittles and started training for a Marathon as I have actually hit the “Reserve Your Space” button for this year’s Dublin Marathon, which takes place on the 28^th Scary…… But the runners are on, training plan in place and by simply sharing my plans to reach this goal it will come one step nearer as I am slightly stubborn to prove those with sceptical faces wrong.

2. The second thing I have done is the total opposite to running a marathon….. I have booked in to do the Indiependence Festival in Mitchelstown. Proper. 3 days and 2 nights in tent, wellies and baby wipe washes. And I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course I have the lady troops with me to survive this endeavour and we are quite practical so have purchased fluorescent clothing and whistles in case we get lost amongst all those that weren’t even born in the 80s.

Oh, and during all this I am of course on the lookout for my 39^th Christmas Present. My next tattoo…. J

International Women’s Day!!!

This week we will celebrate Mother’s Day, but today is International Women’s Day, which is a day that I think we need to use to scream how proud we are to be women…. Only kidding…….. Well a little bit.

I believe it is that day you start to recognise the impact that women have had in your life and the friends you have close to your heart and what we can bring each other for the future.

It is hard to list all those whom have had an impact on me, there are many. Some for love, some for true friendship, some for business development, some fleeting connections with long lasting impact and some to just be with….. Last year when the going got really tough I particularly recognised these women in my life…….

International Women’s Day means that bit extra to me being Swedish in Ireland….. Because even though I often say I am at this point, more Irish than the Irish themselves, the truth is that many of my traits have been fostered in Sweden and the Swedish way. Ways I am very proud of.

Capturing the Moments

To finish this blog post I want to share one of my everyday moments with my amazing 9 year old son. We were having our homework time and were doing maths yesterday evening. The question which was asked related to angles where he was asked out of three images to identify the right angle.

He had done this correctly at first, but blotted it out and picked another angle. I said you were right the first time, you shouldn’t have changed it. He proudly answered; No mum, don’t you see, it’s a left angle.

A welcome giggle at the end of a long day.

Is it possible to get writers block after just five blog posts……..? I actually don’t think so but there are times when what you really want to write down on paper is not ready to be shared. I have had a few of those weeks…. Where the stories were just for me.

However, I have over this time been thinking of how to keep the blog alive so it doesn’t sleep and I’m thinking that I could possibly STOP putting pressure on myself as to what I write about or how long the posts are and just share some smaller notes and thoughts.

So I am going to give that a try!!!

This blog post will talk about three different stories;

1. Tattoos
2. Hide & Seek
3. Time Out

So let’s start with the 3 tattoos……. The minute I turned 18 I turned rebel. But only against one person really – my mum. So outside of moving out of home I also got a tattoo and a tongue piercing!! The latter removed but the first remain. The Chinese sign for woman, which is still quite suitable to me in context of really believing in the empowered woman and her importance!!

But more relative to the story is that I decided in December 2016 to get a tattoo. Well I had decided before that but it was in December I booked it in, Christmas spirit and all that. This time I chose some wise words, often said to me by someone I truly value as someone who knows who I am and what I am about. Often receiving a text message or call saying “Well, how is life in the Fastlane today?” I thought if I have a life motto or simply a way about me that this phrase is it….which will even lead me to write about my second topic – hide and seek. So my choice of tattoo became, as seen in the picture below, Living life in the fast lane, written on my left lower arm. This saying means a lot to me and the values I hold for the opportunities we are given! Take them and go with them! We only have one chance to overtake ourselves – breaking our comfort zones.

There were some initial shock factor, I think my dear mum (now my best friend by the way) was more taken aback by this one then the one I decided to get done when I was 18!! “You can see it, it’s quite big, you’re a mum, and you’re a business woman”…… lots of commentary. I remember a friend and work colleagues’ reaction too – “it’s the midlife crisis, you’ve entered into it early.” J That made me laugh.

Now if it is a midlife crisis one would like to know how long it’s going to last because I think I’m still in it…. I got another one last Christmas J This time I chose birds…… symbolic, present and to me the sign of movement and having a way forward. 5 is the number of them that I put there which at the time had no significance it just looked good but now means more….. 5 members in my childhood family and 5 in my family now….. My strength – 5.

Now getting a second one, at my mere young age of 38, was seriously upsetting to some more people, my nearest in particular! The statements started to sound more like… Yeah it’s nice but….. That’s probably enough now. Hmmm, I don’t like to this day being told what to or what not to do so the plan (mad or not) is to get one this Christmas and finish off my tattoo series ahead of my 40^th birthday, wait, until the day I turn 80 when I will on my right arm tattoo “Time to slow down”.

Hide & Seek

So on the note of living life in the fast lane….. in one of my earlier blogposts I mentioned that I last January made the conscious decision to step back and I know that looking from the outside it probably looked like I did the opposite.

There are two main factors that have always played part in my ability to cope with stress and undue pressures;

1. Laughter and humour. Put me under stress and I will turn into a stand-up comedian.
2. Hiding behind something…. Simply keeping myself busy

Last year was no different although, in my own opinion, I did take a step back. In January 2017 I started the roll out of a Health & Wellbeing programme through my role as a health and wellbeing officer of our local GAA Club, CLG Cuar an Chlair. I gathered a team and set out on a journey with them which was, has been and still is amazing.

I have learnt so much through what this, now award winning, programme has brought to me as well as other people in our community.

That is why I look at that project as a hide and seek. Although I hid behind it, as a coping mechanism, I did manage to seek out pieces of me throughout… so there is something to the saying “Seek and you shall find”…… This inability to be with just me does lead me into talking about my final topic in this blog (which now is far from short)……

Time Out

A few days ago I had a work project a bit from home and agreed with my family that this was now an apt opportunity for ME time. Scary prospect to be with just me, but it was a few of the most amazing days I working mum, living in the fast lane could ask for….. I worked by day and by night I cooked healthy meals, watched a full season of a girly series, read my books in front of lit fires and so on. At the weekend I took in the most amazing scenery by hiking up to the highest point in Clare, Moylussa, which I fitted in twice (bum muscles so not used to that) followed by a lengthy walk to the farmers market in Killaloe and the (not so sure about this one) Brian Boru Fort….. I also had time to bake some treats, sit out (during the coldest weather) and eat my lunch in the beautiful suntrap of a garden I was blessed to stay in.

I can write about this experience alone over several pages or blogs but it was magic and the Airbnb place that I found to stay in was equally magic. I would recommend it warmly for a retreat of this kind, whether on your own or with a friend. What I also realised was that I can actually be with myself now…. That is a drastic change that shows the place I have reached since starting my journey.

The landlady that I stayed with said to me before heading off that she was pleasantly surprised at the fact that I, of my age (I think she meant so youthful), was able to spend this time with me without bottling up….

On my way back to reality and the day life I made one final stop for ME. I collected a beautiful commissioned reflective self-portrait which was painted by a very talented lady, Clare Hartigan. The first draft of this painting was painted like you see on the left below and when I received it there was just something that didn’t fit. I asked Clare if I could look at it for a few days and get back. By the time I did she had changed the whole image to what is now hanging on the wall…. And I cried when I saw it. (To the right below.)

There are a few beautiful sentiments with this which makes it even more valuable to me……

Firstly the other me, the original image, is still behind it, which has depth and then in Clare’s words; “I feel like your head was telling me one thing and your heart was telling me another …. I listened to your head but when I showed it to you I felt your heart was very honest in its response. Your heart told me what you see now.”

So finishing with a thank you to Clare for finding this me…..

So in this post I want to start on a light note talking some more about last week before moving onto the finish of my January 2017.

As mentioned in Tuesday’s blog I travelled to my mum on Thursday the 18^th January to connect with her to embark (literally) on an adventure of a life time. As a TREAT from my mum we were going on a Cruise starting from Dubai. This being an appropriate time to publically say that I have the best mum in the world!! It was myself, my mum and two family friends (a married couple) whom I have known since I was old enough to rob their dinner at 4.00pm. Why wouldn’t I – it was tasty, they had a cool high chair and a bib! Plus by robbing this one at 4 I also got a second dinner in my own house!

It was not until we had our packed lunch in the airport (egg sandwiches) that I realised I was actually going to go on a holiday with 3 pensioners…… The game plan in my head started to change slightly. Had they really just tricked me into coming along as a minder?? I saw early nights in bed, sitting down for a rest every 5 metres or so, lots of reading and making sure they didn’t forget to take their pills in the morning.

First breakfast meeting with all four of us quickly started to realise my fears as the communications over coffee and eggs was all around the daily bathroom habits. Literally s**t talk. I had to politely express my concern about this type of conversation;

1. a) that early in the morning
2. b) over food
3. c) really not appropriate talk at all.

Little did I know that when pensioners have spent a full day in the sun, with wine being drank at regular intervals throughout followed by a few Pina Coladas and Latin dance classes the conversation topic would make a full U-turn. Full U-turn. At this hour of the night the table talk would contain phrases such as; lying with two feet against the wall, you never know if it is your last so make the most of it, lotions…. Once again I attempted to raise a few objections as to the content of our communications (bear in mind my mother is present) but I was silenced with – don’t be so prude to which my mother followed up with – she is the most prude person I know. To which I could only reply – I was reared well, just not sure by who!!!!

A week of lessons in other words and in slight need of trauma counselling on my return to Ireland.

Tommy learning how to belly dance!! 

A life lesson that I didn’t want……..                                                                                  

So back to 2017 and to the first part of the year. On the 31^st January I was due in Ennis District Court. This was not my first visit to the courts as I had for a period of nearly 6 years at this stage had a battle in my hands which had been one of those mountains life throws in your way to climb. Yes mountains. This one could not be broken into gravel or sand in my shoes.

I have never shared the story of the 6 years that led me to the 31^st January 2017 and to share it all would most likely produce a book. So to give you an idea of what these years brought me (taught me) here is a summary;

• Having never been to a courtroom in my life I know found myself involved in three different cases all at once.
• Receiving post would make me feel nauseous…… letters that tended to come with accusations at particularly inconvenient times such as Christmas….
• Each event would see me lose focus for long periods of time as my subconscious would play on my mind and cause a large amount of stress hormones…. Also convinced my first grey hairs arrived at this time.
• One case was criminal proceedings against me, being accused of theft of intellectual property (a memory stick). This was to me the worst of all the parts of this process. To firstly have my offices searched by the Gardai, followed by making a statement, followed by an official arrest on a bank holiday Monday, the latter all because of the perseverance of those trying to “rattle my cage”. With this part they did do just that, but what they also ensured at the same time was the same perseverance back in ensuring that the truth would eventually come out. I will never forget the day when the call came from the Sergeant over my case. I was on my way to UCC as I was completing my H. Dip and he called to tell me that no charges were going to be brought. I think I had to stop the car for at least half an hour to be able to see the road for the tears that were streaming down my face. Relief.
• The other case was a case taken against me, my business associate at the time and our company – one that never moved forward from the world’s longest solicitor’s letter.
• One that I myself took for unfair dismissal which was the appeal that was dropped after many adjournments, changes of solicitors and sick (unwell) defendants, on the 31^st of January. This meaning that the decision of the tribunal made nearly a year previous was now the final outcome of the case.

On that day, the 31^st January, I will never forget what my solicitor said to me when the appeal was dropped – “That was a bit anti-climactic wasn’t it?!” After all this time…….

I still find it hard to talk (write) about this…… which to some extent makes me angry. I have nothing to hide, nothing to feel ashamed of but it is a process / part of my life that I wouldn’t wish for anyone else to have to go through. Not a lesson I needed…… or wanted.

However I have used the whole process as one hell of an educational journey and I have used what I learnt from the process to my advantage as well as the fact that it made me stronger as a person.

If there is one rule I will give you from facing into these life mountains, as I believe we all have them to climb, at least once, then this is it.

See them all as educational lessons whether technically, practically or mentally because it’s true what the experts say. Learning makes us grow and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (the latter part being lyrics not any expert statement!!)

Until next time……

This blog post will be easy to write!! What a week I have just put behind me!! I will just have to share some of the stories before I will get back to where I left off in my last post. Somewhere in January 2017.

The Man Who Made Me Wonder What Happened To Sweden!!

On Thursday the 18^th January I travelled home to Copenhagen to connect with my mum in Sweden. When changing trains in Malmo station this young savvy looking Swedish man with a tweed coat, brief case (the modern kind) and a beer (what!!??) was standing next to me. He was having a face time conversation with a “lady friend” where they were discussing whether or not to continue their “romance”, which this same man clearly didn’t think was really working out but thought would be a good idea to openly share with the whole train, whilst including both picture and sound for adults and CHILDREN alike.

He went on to share some statistics, which entailed a recent survey that parents of children born in the 90s would get more action when the lights go out (if you know what I mean) than that of their children. Hmmm interesting….. (Hopeful here that the same will apply going forward to children born in the 00’s!!) Phone call ended he spotted me making a phone call to ICE Joe in my phone which he believed was a really cool name and that is where one of the funniest conversations I have had in a long time began.

I was quick on my feet and thought, hey I am not going to let on I know what he is on about, I am going to be Irish and not Swedish!! Didn’t fancy a debate about parents of kids born in the 90s or anything….. So it all started with me giving him a very puzzled face followed by him asking me “sprechen sie deutch?” to which I said. No, only English!

He asked “Where in England are you from?” and I said nope not from England I am from Ireland. Oh he said and I am a Leprechaun! Interesting one would think, don’t think I ever heard of a Swedish Leprechaun. He went on to show me the buckles on his shoes and the beer in his hand. I nearly believed him at this point!!

He subsequently shared with me his leprechaun story by simply stating some facts such as the fact that they had tried to diagnose him with ADHD, but that wasn’t his problem although he was quite sure that he had one! That he had recently bought an apartment in Marbella for his sister who is a sufferer of psoriasis.

He went on to share some of his worst vocabulary in English with me being thankful that he was more used to American TV from the 90s than real curses – well that was until he finished with the word c… ,which is my least favourite word, as some of you might be aware of, in the English language.

Well our conversation finished with the use of this word and its true meaning…. As he was hopping of the train he gave me a most polite handshake and set on his ways.

When he had left the train a lady in front of me turned around and said – I am so sorry. I did not know how to help you out of the conversation. Apologies for my fellow country man. To which I could only reply. Never mind – I deal with Leprechauns on a daily basis in Ireland.

It is these small moments in life that the beginning of 2017 taught me to appreciate!

We All Need Dangling Carrots

To finish this blog post I want to share one more of the simple tips that I implemented and which worked for me to commence the journey back to ME.

When things were at their toughest I set reward goals or events to work towards. It turned out that such rewards would come in two main versions;

1. Those I did with just me or;
2. Those I did with people I care about

To start with those I did with just me; They make me think of Newton Faulkner’s song Dream Catcher and in particular the part of the song where the lyrics say (oh hang on better play it on Spotify to make sure I am saying the right thing here) “There’s a place I go when I’m Alone, Do Anything I Want, Be Anyone I Want to Be…….. This phrase really summarises why I chose to spend some time with me. I could clearly think, dream, take in my surroundings and most important listen to me and what I really want… Albeit that this last bit is not quite clear yet – clouds have merely gone from thick across the sky to scattered with glimmers of blue appearing in between. Some days the weather is worse than others.

But being with just me allowed me to dream and start strategizing towards reaching my goals some of which I shared in my first blog post.

To be able to do this – be with me – is a large leap for me, totally a socialite hiding behind my willingness to support others before I help me. That has changed…. These one on one sessions can be anything from a walk or run to spending time in a quiet corner to read a book, have lunch with me and sometimes I might even stop the car on the way home and get a few minutes to gather myself before socializing!! So do do me time, it comes highly recommended.

So to the things I did with people I care about…… yet another story I need to come back to!! As mentioned previously I needed to find something to fill the void that was left behind after taking part in Strictly Come Dancing. One of these was to join forces with three wonderful ladies on who I went on a lot of adventures with in 2017 and more of them planned for 2018!! We did anything from cinema nights, nights spent like teenagers at 80s parties, “variety shows” and dance nights out to learning new skills, challenging our fears and most importantly laughing our socks off when sharing lots and lots of challenges, hopes and dreams. This team, you know who you are, have done a lot more for me than you will ever know!!

Spending time with my three wonderful kids and to connect with them again was something that started a little bit later last year. With them I couldn’t hide away from my fears quite as well so took a bit longer to come to the realisation how much, not just them needed me, but how much I needed them!!

Other rewards and other events to work towards included concerts, holidays to places I want to go, meeting with people I haven’t seen for a long time (lots more of those to catch up on) and taking on new challenges to materialise some of those dreams….

I still use these “dangling carrots” to keep my energy levels and motivation up with the best part being that when you start implementing them, more seems to come your way without you even having to look.

Back again and need to start with yet another round of thank yous to all those who have read, commented and sent me messages on the last post! I think a few to do lists have been started!!!

So when setting out goals it is a given that we will meet some stumbling blocks. Some will be mountains, some will be hills, some will be crossroads whereas others will merely be a rock, gravel or sand in the shoes at best.

As a prime example, my goal 6, the one about having a most romantic relationship with my husband has taken one step back on the basis of my new found interest in blogging. No, not because I am hovering over the computer watching each visit to my blog post, nor for the hours I spend writing and composing my posts (as if!!). It isn’t even for the opposite reason, that he didn’t read it and immediately buy me flowers, skittles or an office in New York.

First blog post live! Excited and delighted and the phone beeps… Here is me thinking it’s a publishing company getting in contact to get my pending book on the shelves today. How could they not as I am one in a million….. as I was told, and this time not by my mother. No it’s my husband and he is expressing his “concerns” about making the content public and what such content might entail going forward. It is worth bearing in mind that at this point he had already proof read the content so it wasn’t that as much as it was the live bit….. Shy of social media and not wanting to get a raised profile through my new blog, discussions were held about legal standpoints and freedom of speech in our house…… not exactly romantic….. Oh work to be done here. J

This is an example of, hmmmm, gravel?? I will in future blogs share more with you about my real life MOUNTAINS and sand in around my toes….. I believe that we need to remember these when we set our goals and plans and most definitely allow for them to get in the way, at least for a while.

New Year, New Start, New Me…… not in 2017

One of the last things I did in 2016 was meet with my business coach to set out some strategic goals for 2017. This worked well during the meeting which we had over the Christmas break and I did feel ready to go. But over the coming days it all changed….

I cannot recall a particular trigger, an event, a person, an anything that changed me; changed me drastically.

My ME had disappeared….. not sure where to. But I started to dread the thought of going to work, started to dread the thought of meeting up with friends, no particular interest in conversation in general whether for work or for pleasure.

What I remember clearly at this point is making a call to my business coach, sitting in my hallway at home, taking notes of what he was saying. I still have that A4 page and note. “Take time out”. Take 2-3 weeks where commitments are limited and you can be what you need to be. Mind yourself in this time frame from a physical and mental perspective.

Guess what, not normally a good person to listen, I took his advice. I stepped back, stayed at home and started to make good use of my own company and the great outdoors. I would head for walks when I felt like it, I would read books that I wanted to read (not a to do list book), start taking note of what the last number of years being a self-employed mother of 3 had really done to me and how it had affected me.

It took me way more than 3 weeks to find my way again, not sure if I have even found it at this point as I believe it is a continuous search for something but I have taken some very important lessons from it.

• Oxygen is essential and when we take the time to inhale it, and I mean literally not metaphorically, we end up getting re-energised and motivated to be more productive, effective and passionate.
• Getting to know ME (for you it’s you) is essential
• Taking two steps back will, if managed well, bring you ten steps forward.

So although it was not an easy decision to step back and a lot at stake from doing so I think it is essential to take those steps back in a manner that fits with your own personal circumstances and remember that it is not shutting yourself away from the world, nor being selfish for wanting to mind yourself, it’s a necessity.

I can recall having read, not believing it a possibility at the time, heard and listened to similar tips from others who say it’s SIMPLE, if you just do it.

Gosh, there are so many things I managed to leave off that goal list I shared in my last post….. and, besides that, isn’t it true that each of those goals also contain so many steps that the simplicity starts to get complex.

One of the main ones I forgot is my longing and urge to have an office in New York. Not necessarily because I need one but because I want one. This week, I added to my collection of little things that reminds me of this goal – this amazing big apple in porcelain which was a mere €8.48 in Heaton’s sale. I love a bargain of any sort!!

So my first post got some mixed feedback, which I found interesting. It ranged from questions as to what impact it would have on others in my surroundings; if I am really ready to bear my heart in this way (I thought I kept it quite light…. So far); if I am really willing to share the full truth and……some comments which filled my eyes with tears, in a good way:

1. “You really are a truly wonderful person”
2. This statement is probably my favourite –  “If I could just dig into your brain and see what else you are hiding in there!!”
3. “This will work as a true inspiration to other women in business and motherhood” Cool – not sure about that one…
4. My 9 year old son – one of the truly best critics read it more by accident than purpose and his spontaneous response – “You’re so funny Mammy” was truly heartfelt.
5. “You are one in a million……….”

Thank you to all those who took time to read and feedback on the first post!

So, as promised, this blog will share the main reason I started it – 2017 – with some, wait for it, pause….. SIMPLE tips on what I did to start getting myself back on track and, of course, why I think they worked. The blog will also share my 2018 journey!!!

The reason it all fell apart…..

So in order for you to understand what caused me to have to hit the wall in early 2017 I need to explain the main reason behind why it all fell apart.

In September 2016, I was signed up to take part in a Strictly Come Dancing competition for our local GAA Club; a challenge I had wanted to take on for years. My initial instinct when volunteered was that I won’t have time, I have too much work to do, I will miss time with my kids but….HELL YEA, finally someone has pushed me into doing it!!

So I dived right in and juggled work, family, diet (as I had to be swung around a man’s neck this piece was important), exercise, outside of dancing, and, of course, dancing for hours on end, 3-4 days a week for a 3 month period. But I managed; outside of a knee injury, a car crash and a few bruises, that is! Overall, it is one of the best experiences of my life, not just because to that myself and my partner WON but also to the fact that I found myself again, my confidence, my smile and laughter and my ability to be part of a something!!! I had a ball, rejuvenated myself for some much needed ‘me’ time, exercised and ate well, for the first time in years, and had a purpose, a goal to reach….. which was to go in front of 800 people to show them what we got!!

However, once the competition was over and the Christmas break had come and gone….. I woke up in January 2017 and said – “What now”???? What is my ‘me’ purpose….?????

So on a positive, I can say that the excuse of “I don’t have the time” – that doesn’t cut it. When we really do want something badly enough, we will make the time. It is possible to do more… to find time….. and to make it work, when we really set our mind to it.

Starting it out with gusto…….

So one of the techniques I applied in 2017, to start salvaging the lost me, was the application of a “To Do List”. A to do list encompassing not just the workload, but also the family load (sorry guys not meaning to call you a load), the ‘me load’ and the house and home load.

So every day I would make a list of 12 items, 3 for each category, which I was to do that very day. No more, no less.

Starting off 2018 has been no different and, although it does fall by the wayside sometimes, I still start each day with making a To Do List for the day ahead. I do this in a To Do List Book.

The main lesson I have learned out of my To Do List, is not to overestimate what I can get done, so I am breaking it down into smaller portions making sure that I can ultimately get the list done within the day, as the list now allows for distractions…….The second main lesson is that, all of what makes me up needs to be part of the plan, not just work.

Those who know me may have heard me say that I one day want to write a book with the title “Simple” and for those of you who don’t, let me explain;

For a number of years I have been interested, as many others in self-development, motivational techniques, empowerment and all those other wonderful things that we need to make ourselves “truly the best we can be”.

Whilst embarking on this journey, via books, magazines, TV shows, motivational speakers and other ways one message that seemed to be repeated is that if you just make an executive decision then it is simple, straightforward even, to reach your goals and dreams.

Listening to this sound advice I couldn’t help to be drawn to my list of goals and dreams which would look something like this;

1. I want to be a successful entrepreneur with a solid reputation for excellence as well as, of course, financial freedom, in abundance.
2. I want to be a great mom to my three wonderful kids, now nearly all in double digits, so time is of the essence. In fact at this rate I can’t be just great, that simply wouldn’t do, I need to be “slaying” and “lit” to make the cut on snapchat!!
3. I want to have a fabulous, well-kept and maintained home to which I have regular visitors. Not just the type of visitors that arrives when everything is turned up-side down.
4. I want to give back to my immediate as well as extended community through my drive and energy for all things wellbeing and be the one who tells them all its simple!
5. I want to be able to do the things that I love and have passion for. This would in short include travel, spend time with friends and family, dance, eat good food, read great books, go for long walks, socialise…… you can keep that going.
6. I want to have a most romantic relationship with my husband whom I feel I haven’t really seen for the past 15 years, well 10 to be fair.
7. I want to be the best friend anyone can have and ensure to get lots of quality time with those whom I love and care for.
8. I want to be skinny, and I mean not just half way there but fully at 6 pack level running marathons like I currently eat skittles!
9. & most of all I want to be happy……..

So all that is quite simple isn’t it……….

Most people know me for being a very happy individual, full of energy and drive and one who can never sit still………  therefore even my closer friends don’t believe me when I tell them that last year was a really hard year for me….. I simply couldn’t reach myself….

This is one of the reasons I have decided to start this blog…. to tell my simple story

Both the story of how last year went down and how this year is about to go…… hope you will take part in my journey.

P.S I even have a t-shirt, plain white, with black text on the front reading…… SIMPLY!